Who will attend my birth?

2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-08-25 11:16

Fortunately, we don't give birth alone. Every woman can choose who will be with her on this memorable day. To make the right choice, read our article.

A matter of confidence… and comfort

Some women want to live the experience as a sweet moment of intimacy where she and their spouse will privately welcome their future baby. Others invite their mother, sister or best friend to accompany them. Also, more and more women ask a companion to be with them and the future dad to support and help them. In fact, there is no recipe to follow. This final decision rests with the mother-to-be. "Any significant person for the mother-to-be and with whom she really wants to share this moment can be there: the spouse, the mother, a very close friend, a birth companion are a few examples", explains Kathleen Lescarbeau, birth attendant and owner of IDBebe.com. But be careful, you have to choose, even sort or even prohibit access to this real meeting between you and your baby. Josette Charpentier, accompanying at birth, is also of this opinion. “It is important to choose who will accompany us in order to receive adequate assistance and notnot to have spectators who will tend to harm a woman in labour,” she mentions.

Don't give in to pressure

If our mother (or our mother-in-law) makes subtle hints that she would like to attend the birth of her grandchild, no question of folding just to please him even if we are not not comfortable with the idea. “Childbirth is not the time to elaborate on our values, on our choices, to feel uncomfortable with the person in front of us. You have to choose one or more people who will be able to respect us in our choices, who will support us, with whom we have a bond of trust,” says Kathleen Lescarbeau.

Childbirth is a moment when we will experience a powerful roller coaster of emotions. "The mother is in one of the moments of her life when she must feel the most comfortable, confident to allow herself to enter her bubble and fully experience her childbirth", recalls Kathleen Lescarbeau. We will need calm people near us who will support us without invading our space too much. “Because the mother will experience great moments of vulnerability, she will sometimes rely on her supporters,” says Josette Charpentier. To choose well, Kathleen Lescarbeau suggests that her clients think about it and ask themselves a few questions that will help them make the best decisions: “Who do you really want to have by your side at this time? Will these people be present throughout the birth or just during the push, for example? »

Weinquire

Better also check the current policies at the hospital or birthing center where you will give birth. “In the hospital environment, each hospital has its own policy. In some establishments, only two people are allowed while in others it is unlimited. In a birth centre, it is unlimited and it is also more flexible for the other children who can be present without restriction, while in a hospital environment, some have restrictions, for example on the minimum age. Everywhere we ask for a responsible person with them,” explains Kathleen Lescarbeau.

We can change your mind

The mother-to-be has every right…especially the right to change her mind. At the last minute, we can decide not to bring the children anymore or to ask the family to wait outside the room. If the entourage should understand and accept our requests, this is not always what happens. We should think about making these things clear before D-Day by telling them clearly that it is possible, for a thousand reasons, that we change our minds and that we would like our wishes to be respected without discussion. On the day of delivery, we are the master!

We can also ask our spouse to be our faithful spokesperson and not to hesitate to be firm and unequivocal in their requests. As companions, Kathleen and Josette have already had to do it too. “I once suggested to a particularly exhausted father to take a short walk to rest and take the opportunity to eatsays Kathleen. “I recommended to a hyper-nervous grandmother and a completely overwhelmed dad to go and have a good meal in the cafeteria and take their time,” recalls Josette.

To each his own role

The role of the people accompanying us must be well defined. It is better to assign tasks - however small - to these people who may soon feel overwhelmed by events, jostled by emotion or uncomfortable. Also, it is best to ask them if they are interested in coming to attend our birth and discuss with them their limits, ours and what you want them to do with you. If we want to keep photos or even a video, we can ask our sister or a good friend if she volunteers. The important thing is that the discomforts are dissipated from the start.

Thank you to the companions Josette Charpentier and Kathleen Lescarbeau for their help.