Have you ever received this advice: “Trust yourself!”? Who could oppose this recommendation? It is obvious that trusting each other simplifies our experience of motherhood!
But maybe you've noticed that it's not always as simple as it seems.
Instant Confidence?
This confidence in ourselves, in our abilities, in our judgement, in our intuition and in our skills does not always manifest itself after becoming a mother. The trust fairy was not present during our delivery to give us this unchanging trust… too bad!
Seriously, there are women who experienced a positive transformation related to their confidence during the birth of their baby. The fairy may finally exist! Still, these women suddenly feel more confident. They are able to set their limits, they assume their choices despite the judgments and comments of those around them. They describe their condition by comparing themselves to a lioness, strong, protective and courageous.
But you know well that this does not represent the reality of all mothers. There are so many ways to experience motherhood! How many of us find it difficult tohave confidence in one's decisions and actions?
It's important to make a distinction, having questions is desirable and even necessary for our evolution, but constant doubt has rather harmful effects. In times of intense doubt, wouldn't it be worth asking yourself, "What am I afraid of?" Because doubt and insecurity often come from some kind of fear. Here are some examples: fear of making a mistake, fear of causing harm to our child, fear of disappointing those around us or worse of disappointing ourselves. Fear of not giving what our child needs and the worst of all, being afraid of not being a good mother!
Let's think about it. What decision could we make that would have an irreparable consequence on our child? And the question to ask is: what is my intention in making this choice? Insofar as our intention is positive, we have nothing to reproach ourselves for. Being a mother is a series of trials and errors. Besides, we will spend our lives adjusting and adapting to the reality of our child. The older he gets, the more we will have to determine our limits, our values and assume them.
So the question is: how do you learn to trust yourself?
This confidence will grow along with our baby. We will discover our strengths and our limits by living our motherhood one day at a time and sometimes an hour at a time. We will be able to see that we have survived some more or less adequate actions on our part andour child too. We gain experience, which is priceless!
- We will build our confidence by accumulating successes and moments when we are proud of ourselves.
- Recognizing our qualities and accepting our limits is also a way of contributing to our confidence.
- Reducing our demands on ourselves is desirable to avoid experiencing a feeling of failure.
- Dare to ask for support is a show of courage and puts an end to the burden of pretending that everything is fine.
- Accept that building self-confidence can take time.
What does self-confidence mean?
Contrary to what we might think, having self-confidence does not mean that we are always strong, determined and in control. Doubt in small doses is completely normal in the face of this important role.
Having self-confidence therefore means believing that we have what it takes to face the challenges that life brings to us. And it is above all to accept that there are no instructions for maternity.
Maternity
motherhood is an experience that will inspire you to surpass and surpass yourself. You will be confronted and motivated at the same time. You will experience great joys and great sorrows. You will be forever transformed by this endless experience. Your role as a mother will stick to your skin and will be etched in your heart for eternity. Your trajectory, your life, your achievements will be influenced and colored by this great role, the role of your life!
Of course, you'll play it clumsily sometimes and then brilliantly at other times. You will congratulate yourself and you will judge yourself. There will be many challenges and everyone will face them in their own way.
You will move at high speed towards discovering who you really are. You will question and doubt. You will engage against wind and tide for the well-being of your protected. You will spend your life wanting to be a good mother. You will seek to protect and guide him. You will support it so that it can be accomplished and you will be at the lodge of its success.
- You will be loving and uncompromising
- You will be patient and impatient
- You will be available and absent
- You will be perfect and imperfect.
- You will encourage and demotivate this child you love so much!
In summary, you will be human and one thing is certain you will learn from this great adventure of motherhood. At times, you will undoubtedly need to confide in yourself, to express yourself, to free yourself from these emotions that manifest themselves in you. Know that what you are feeling is normal and that you are not alone! And above all remember that you are learning just like your child…
