2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-08-25 11:16
He is the man of your life and he knows you inside out. Watching you give birth is, on the other hand, a new angle to your intimacy. Do you have any concerns about his perception of you afterwards?
Several women worry about the vision that their spouse will have of them after seeing them give birth to a child.
Pain during labor is sometimes intense and surprising. Those who have already given birth know that they are not always in perfect control of their reactions and behavior during this time. A sweet woman can suddenly become very expressive, some respond curtly to their spouse or medical staff. These women are sometimes embarrassed afterwards for having reacted in a way in which they do not recognize themselves.
Obviously, you will understand that it is not possible to predict how you will be before you get there. The intensity of the pain, the duration of the delivery, the psychological conditions in which you are that day, the support received, etc. are all factors that will change your behavior and attitude. Do not worry. People are usually understanding or will easily forgive yourmood swings.
Beyond your attitude and your reactions, the greatest fear of women (and men too!) is related to the vision that the man will keep of his wife when he sees the baby come out. You suspect that when giving birth, you are not at your best. Forget the superfluous make-up, the well-groomed hair and your ravishing figure in the hospital gown! Either way, it'll probably be the least of your worries when the pain is at its peak and you push with haste.
The reaction of men
Men will not all react the same way to the sight of the birth of their baby. There are those who only keep in mind the image of their little prince or princess who has finally arrived in their life. Others will see their wife with exemplary strength and courage for having passed through this intense moment. It happens, however, that men keep a shocking image of the event. Seeing the baby expelled is impressive for anyone seeing it for the first time. Even for the second or third time! Men are sometimes so impressed with what they have seen that for a certain period of time they can no longer see their partner as the woman who can stir up their desire. It is as if they kept a strong mental imprint of the event. They can no longer dissociate this image from their lover. Sexuality can then become more difficult. This can result in sexual difficulties such as:
- A drop in desiresexual,
- Arousal difficulties,
- Difficulty getting an erection,
- Difficulties in sexualizing or eroticizing the spouse.
The couple must then re-tame their sexuality. Sometimes you have to relearn how to seduce yourself and relearn how to know the body of the other. It is not easy for these men to stop thinking about the picture they saw during childbirth. Time is then necessary for this image to dissipate little by little. The image of a desirable and sexualized woman will then resume its place.
It is obviously scary to think that our spouse can stop wanting us after giving birth. Men are able to recognize in advance that the vision of childbirth will give them this effect and therefore prefer not to attend. The male participation in childbirth is made so valued today, unlike in the past, that there is pressure on them to attend. It is therefore difficult for them to express themselves and to admit their reluctance to participate in childbirth. They will probably come across as heartless or uninvolved fathers. Perhaps we should listen to these men more and respect them in their choice? Unfortunately, it is not always possible to know beforehand how they will react, they also learn it on the spot.
Can we warn?
Other than sharing your fears with each other beforechildbirth, there is no specific way to prevent the image that a man can have of childbirth. Listen to him and express your fears too. Sometimes watching a video of a birth can help reduce surprise and amazement. Remember, however, that it is not the majority of men who have this harmful vision of their wife's genitals after childbirth. Many fathers have positive and wonderful memories of their experience, even if they had fears at the start. It is more the birth of a baby that they keep in mind than the image of their wife's body. This last aspect becomes secondary and futile when they have the happiness of discovering with you, this little being who will be part of your family.
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