Are you one of those who, once the maternity clothes are put away, miss your pregnancy belly? You are not alone, other women feel the loss of no longer carrying their child inside.
For more or less forty weeks, you carried within you what today is this precious little jewel that needs your warmth and your presence on a daily basis. You felt him move, turn, hiccup, or practice what felt like martial arts in you! Some women even have a sense of attachment that s is created, despite the uterine wall separating them from their child. This little being that formed in you, you carried it around all these weeks waiting for the day when you would finally meet it.
The mourning of the belly
Now this beautiful baby is in your arms and fills you with happiness, even if he leaves you little time to sleep or shower! It is now part of your life. You can still experience a certain emptiness inside you. You feel like you are grieving your pregnancy belly. You may even feel like you can always feel it moving. Some keep this habit of flattering the belly as if the baby was still there. Do you miss this state and these sensations? What is this lack, where does it come from and why does it persist? Honestly, to date, nothing very scientific has been done to answer these questions. On the contrary, trying to answer it raises many other questions. So is it not having the child in you that you miss anymore or is it the pregnancy, now over, that you regret? Let's explore together the avenues where regret can be felt.
The Perfect Pregnancy
Although pregnancy can have its share of discomforts, you may be one of those for whom being pregnant has been an extraordinary experience. You may have found in yourself an unsuspected beauty that made you feel "apart" during all these months. The pregnancy hormones and the state they put you in may actually be responsible for this feeling of well-being. These same hormones may have left you with a physical appearance that made you feel more beautiful than when you weren't pregnant. silkier hair, more radiant skin, bright eyes, fuller boobs, or plumpness you never had before. All of this can be hard to let go without regret once the pregnancy is over. The feeling of loss is therefore experienced more at the level of physical changes in this case.
The center of attention
Pregnant, you also receive an overdoseattention you weren't used to. Your loved ones and even strangers you meet may be concerned about your well-being. They give you attention that you wouldn't have had if you hadn't been pregnant. You feel like a precious object that is taken care of “collectively”. Some have been concerned with your comfort (such as giving you the best chair or providing you with a cushion), others with your diet (providing you with a larger portion or having brewed decaffeinated coffee) and still others are interested in your situation. It is likely that you have received supportive or complicit smiles from strangers.
These may also have offered you gratifying feedback about your physical appearance. This praise can be nourishing for you. It is true that some women feel on the contrary invaded by this attention. However, if you are one of those who have been affected by this, the disappearance of your belly can be synonymous here with this loss of attention. It may be disappointing for you to not feel so privileged anymore. The focus is on your child rather than you. Once you've told your birth story, people will now be asking about your baby's condition and how it's progressing. Women feel forgotten and sidelined. Luckily, the pride of seeing your children grow up and sharing their learning with others replaces or compensates for the regrets of no longer carrying this baby.in you.
A shorter pregnancy
It would also be interesting to know if women who gave birth prematurely experience more mourning of the pregnancy belly. Can the sudden preterm separation have an effect on the ability to let go of the state of pregnancy? Have these women had time to get used to the idea that baby is coming any day now? Have they had time to long for the pregnancy to end out of weariness of supporting their huge bellies? As the baby was born at an unexpected time, could the fact of not being psychologically prepared influence the relationship to bereavement of the pregnancy belly? This is a great path to maternity research!
When nostalgia takes hold of you
Whether for one or all of the reasons mentioned above, feeling nostalgic about pregnancy can happen to many women. This nostalgia may even give way to depression if you were hoping to have more children and your family or marital situation prevents you from doing so. It is not rare that in a couple, the two partners do not have the same vision of the perfect number of children! So it is no longer so much the regret of the pregnant belly as that of the fertile life. Grieving this part of life can happen over time or with appreciation for the times spent with your children. It is still understandable that it may affect you.
It is still a feeling difficult to describe to feel a being in motion in oneself. We are left,as a woman, only to savor our pregnancies by reminding ourselves that this state is not final. On the other hand, it may be that once forty weeks have passed, you are wondering what remains to be savored when turning over in bed requires as much effort as if you had to push your broken down car alone! Although it is difficult to understand this type of mourning, it must be said that carrying life within oneself can be magical and unforgettable. It is therefore normal at some point to find yourself wanting to relive this feeling, even if it is only for a few minutes.