2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
Not so long ago, the father was denied access to the delivery room. Obviously, things have changed a lot – and for the better! But what role does the father have to play during childbirth?
From the outset, it must be said that it depends first and foremost on the father and the mother: some fathers will be very involved, others will simply observe… doing their best not to pass out! The best thing is to discuss it before the delivery: this could save you a couple's fight at a time when emotions can blur many compasses.
The paternal instinct
Indeed, if the mother feels different from the first weeks of pregnancy, the father, for his part, often has his "baptism" during childbirth, this decisive moment which will of him a father. As his body has not undergone the same transformations as that of his spouse, childbirth can be destabilizing for him, who will suddenly feel useless. Indeed, what can he do well, apart from encouraging his partner and, if possible, not being in the paws of the hospital or birthing center staff?
Nothing is mandatory
From the outset, know that nothing is obligatory for the dad during delivery: if he does not feel well, he can leave the delivery room, and he does not doesn't have to cut the umbilical cord or watch the baby's delivery. That being said, few women want to be left alone during this unique and intense experience. Fortunately, the vast majority of fathers also want, in their own way, to participate in the birth of their child. In addition, it is believed that the male paternal instinct, or if you prefer, the bond of attachment, will be awakened more quickly if the father actively participates in childbirth.
Taking care of mom
It goes without saying that a man's main task during childbirth is to take care of his better half, which means being present, attentive and, if possible, proactive.
Passive but important support will be holding the woman's hand, just being present. On the other hand, this support will become more active if to all this, we add soft words, encouragement. Refresh the woman using an atomizer, or by handing her a piece of ice, for example. Breathe with it, walk with it: with good preparation, it is possible to provide very active, and above all necessary, support.
Home
This is called the “latency phase”: thus, the father can have an active role well before being in the hospital, by remaining, among other things, with his partner. Here issome ways to make yourself useful:
- Walking can do a lot of good and even speed up labor. The father can therefore accompany his partner for a walk.
- Remind your partner in pain to change position, and help her to do so, if necessary.
- Massage, breathing, reassuring words: all these gestures are welcome.
- Run a bath and help the woman get in and out.
- Apply a cold or hot compress to your partner's face or forehead.
- Before labor is too advanced, the father takes care of making him eat light, easily digestible foods. He can also offer ice cubes to refresh it.
- Apply balm to her lips.
- Help her take a shower or a bath before going to the maternity ward.
- Remind the woman to urinate often.
- The father is the best person to take note of the duration and frequency of contractions.
At the hospital
During the active period, the contractions are closer together and more intense. Some fathers will feel greatly helpless in the face of their partner's pain. However, the father must continue to support her and be attentive to her needs. Here are small gestures that can make a big difference:
- Massage.
- Help the woman change her position.
- Help him take a shower or a bath. We also continue to offer him chips ofice, or compresses.
- Direct her in her breaths.
- Provide hot or cold compresses, whichever she prefers.
- We avoid criticizing or upsetting the woman.
- We don't take anything personal: the woman, in pain, may be irritable and say hurtful or unusual things.
- If she is unable to speak, communicate her needs and desires to the staff.
- We keep eye contact, especially during very intense contractions.
Labor can be long: the father should therefore remember to keep well hydrated, to eat and to stretch, in order to be fit at the right time.
The Push
Depending on the position adopted by the woman, the man will be able to support the woman during the thrust. At this stage, the woman needs clear and simple instructions: encourage her, support her, hold her hand. The father can also give some indications to the woman: the head is there, it is almost out…
Of course, after birth, the man will be offered to cut the umbilical cord.
Some birth preparation classes encourage the man to be involved in the whole birthing process. This is the case, among others, of the Bonapace method which will teach you different pressure points that can relieve the woman at all stages of this very special day.
The important thing is to respect each other in all these stages: a good discussion on theeveryone's expectations before the big day will make it possible to clarify what everyone wants and to agree on the limits not to be crossed.
