Becoming a father remains one of the most beautiful and important adventures that a man can live on this earth. A dad shares with us his most beautiful story: how he really became a father!
Photo taken from the April 2009 photo-contest
I remember exactly when I chose to be a father. I remember precisely the place, the time, almost the date, when I stopped asking myself a million questions about the price of diapers, bottles, rattles, tapestry and baby furniture, to simply decide to jump, without a parachute, into the world of fatherhood. I also and especially remember my partner's luminous gaze when I told her YES, I WANT IT! (The baby, of course!). I remember all of this fondly, but… that was not when I became a father.
I remember the excitement my partner and I felt in front of the pregnancy test that had so kindly agreed to change color. I remember the joy, the trouble and the hot tears that ran down our cheeks. I especially remember that we were tight against each other like we had never been before. I also remember… that I don'tdon't remember at all the pharmacy where this happened!
But I remember very clearly the first ultrasound. I remember the little heart beating on the monitor. About the shape of the little legs, the little arms, the little hands, the little head, and the great flush of heat that had then filled my chest. But that's not when I became a father.
I remember having, throughout the pregnancy, the frustrating impression of being behind my partner who was becoming a mother infinitely faster than I was becoming a father.
I remember the fabulous moment when I announced to my parents that my partner and I were having a child. It is one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I felt that my relationship with my parents was changing and that we would now share the prodigious complicity of simply belonging to the great chain of generations. But that's not when I became a father either.
I remember the preparations, the purchases, the moments of absolute happiness and gaga because, for example, we had just bought a Winnie the Pooh lamp! I remember the look of my girlfriend who was like an ocean liner: proud, noble, dignified and accomplished. I also remember the books about babies. Prenatal classes. Other parents who encouraged or discouraged us, depending on their experience. I remember all this, but despite all these events, I still did not feelto have truly become a father.
I remember leaving for the hospital like it was yesterday. Excitement and anxiety experienced then. I remember the contractions that never ended, the exhaustion of my girlfriend, the kindness of the doctor and the nurses, the epidural, the anguish, the delivery room with dark brown walls, of my girlfriend pushing and pushing and pushing, and finally, the little head that came out first, the cord around her neck just after and finally. of the loud cry that our baby launched when it came into the world. It was fabulous; beyond anything I could have imagined and at that moment I received a tremendous adrenaline overdose. I was totally…charged, overwhelmed, excited, and connected to something that I couldn't name, but felt terribly beautiful and grand. I almost became a dad…
But I think the moment when…I truly became a father…was a few minutes later…when I hugged my child for the first time and told him, alone in alone: I'm your daddy. I will love you all my life and I will always be there for you. It was at this precise moment… that I truly and irretrievably became the father of my child.
And then, every day, with every experience I have with my child, I become, a little more and a little better, I hope, a real dad.
Of course, fatherhood is not always desired or experienced in ideal circumstances. Our world is changing and being a parent is becoming morecomplex. But, I still deeply believe that, despite all these challenges, becoming a father remains one of the most beautiful and important adventures that a man can live on this Earth.
So that's why I told you my best story… how I became a father!
Raymond Villeneuve
Group for the Valorization of Paternity (RVP)
[email protected] or (514) 528- 9227
The Regroupement pour la valorisation de la Paternité (RVP) is a group of organizations and individuals whose goal is to promote a positive view of fatherhood in order to foster paternal involvement, improve the offer of services to fathers and to change the public discourse on fatherhood, while respecting the contribution of all family members. Revised in June 2009
