His announcement may have been a big surprise or did you actually plan it. But one thing is certain, when the woman becomes pregnant, noticeable changes occur in the sexuality of the couple.
It is already widely known that a woman's sexual desire varies during the different trimesters of pregnancy. However, what about the man? A recent survey on “intimacy, sexuality and romantic behavior of men in France” (Brenot, 2011) reports that:
- Male desire seems little influenced by the state of pregnancy or maternity;
- For 53% of men surveyed, the fact that their partner was pregnant did not change their desire;
- For 70% of the men surveyed, the fact that their partner became a mother did not change their desire. This question was answered only by men who had had children (i.e. 70% of the sample).
Thus, approximately one in two men experience a change in their sexual desire once their spouse is pregnant. Indeed, just as with sleep, mood and eating behaviors, changes occur in the sexuality of couples who are expecting a child.
Hormones don't fluctuate in men like they do in women. Nevertheless, he is, like the mother, affected by the identity adjustment that he must make: he will no longer be only a man, but also a father (Clergue et al., 2011).
Some women perceive this identity upheaval as a sexual disinvestment on the part of the man due to their own bodily appearance. However, it has been shown that the majority of men remain attracted to their partner who is transformed by pregnancy. If male sexual desire varies, it is often because the man experiences concerns that he does not always dare to share. The main reasons that would lead to a change in male sexuality are concerns for the child and the mother, such as the fear of hurting the baby during sex or even the moral reluctance to make love in the presence of the child. to be born and finally the fear of becoming a father (Reichenbach, 2001).
Pregnancy is thus a period of adjustment for both men and women. This period is conducive to sincere communication within the couple in order to promote sexual behavior that will satisfy everyone.
A new life is about to bloom and her entourage is forming around her. Couples must stop putting pressure on themselves to obtain a sexuality that is similar to “pre-pregnancy” and instead consider pregnancy as the right time to experience a different sexuality where wemust readjust and above all innovate.
By Élisabeth Brodeur, sexology intern at Seréna Québec
- Brenot, P. (2011) “Survey on the intimacy, sexuality and romantic behavior of men in France”, Men, sex and love, Éditions Les Arènes, 400 pages.
- Clergue, C. Aubry, M. (2011) “Male sexuality and pregnancy. A promise? », Human Sexuality Review, Metropolitan France, 10.
- Reichenbach, S., Alla, F., Lorson, J. (2001) “Male sexual behavior during pregnancy: a pilot study of 72 men”, Sexologie, 11(42), 1-6.