Tooth Fairy

Tooth Fairy
Tooth Fairy

To fully understand this article, you need to know a little about me first. The human body, at least its interior, makes me sick!


Similar to operation TV shows where you see scalpels cutting open skin to remove something from an organ I can't watch that!

However I love horror movies! I know, I know, I am a being of contradictions. When I was younger, and even now, I had two idols: Superman and Jason Voorhees, you see the genre! So even if I had had the grades at school, which is far from the case, I could not have been a surgeon. Impossible.

My oldest is six years old, so she's at the age where you lose teeth. Just to see them move, all soft, all crooked, like the old celery you take out of its bag, after weeks forgotten behind the dozen eggs. It sickens me! But solid! At his age I couldn't pull my own teeth!

A Gap

We agree, the body is an incredible machine, an extremely well thought out system! But the teeth?! Man! There is a gap here!

It pushes, it hurts, it falls, it hurts, even when you fix them, they hurt little bitches! The dentist is like the worker in the he alth system! Why do you think it's not covered by insurance?sickness?! Because the government is not proud of this service! Let's see. We are able to transplant a heart, change your face, pose breasts or create a test-tube goat! But in terms of teeth, we haven't really evolved it seems. Your tooth is no longer good, we freeze you, we take A PLIERS and WE PULL IT OUT!

But good. That is not the purpose of my article. Yesterday, my oldest had a tooth in molasses mode. She looked like a landslide. I managed to convince her that after supper we would, together, find a way to bring her down. I tried somehow to get him to use the door and rope technique, but to no avail. I'm disappointed, I admit I would have really liked to try this.

“Don’t worry my beautiful girl…”

I've never managed to pull one of my own teeth and then I tell my daughter that "Daddy will take care of it!" “Bullshit! I shit in my shorts at the thought of shooting that dangling tooth. My girlfriend looks at me wanting to say, “Seriously!? Are you trying to fool us that YOU are going to rip it off!? All while laughing into her beard, which she doesn't have.

In the parental bed, I find myself facing this tooth, facing my daughter and her insecurity and in the bedroom door my girlfriend who is watching us. No one here thinks it's going to end well…

Take turns my daughter and I move the tooth and pull it with the force of a mouse. My little big girl is scared. She always says to me: “Strong as a mouse, ok dad…? »

“Don’t worrymy daughter in law. Dad does not have the strength and the courage to pull harder. In fact, he has no strength to shoot at all! »

That's what the truth would have made me say, but being a parent is also about using the white lie. Like, “Don’t worry my beautiful girl. Daddy won't pull harder than a mouse. »

After more than 15-20 minutes of foolishness, my girlfriend had time to pee and teethe the other two and now it's bedtime. There's school tomorrow.

“My turn! I shoot one last time and if it doesn't work, we'll try again tomorrow. »

I'm shivering, I'm hot, my salmon fillet tastes like it's going up my throat, like it's probably done before in a river. I must confess that in my daughter's eyes, which do not leave mine, I feel terror! It's the first time. The other two front teeth, they fell out on her own, without using force.


She jumps! Me too! It is done! She flips! Me too! She's bleeding! Not me!

At this moment I don't know who is more proud. I am officially the Tooth Feetaud. Yes "Fetaud"! It's the fairy masculine, just the same! Me too I find it ugly as a word, but it's the same word.

Excited to the max, my little one is going to show her "more tooth" to her mom and her sisters! Me… I'm alone in bed with a bloody washcloth, a small tooth and my immense discomfort. The salmon is tenacious!

I'm coming, legs stewed, in the bathroom. My handis paralyzed. I still hold my daughter's mini tooth. I put an air of Schwarzenegger in my face and I look at my girlfriend: “Pfff… Nothing there! »

“Smells like salmon… Did you burp!? »

“Yes sorry! »

Very proud my little one fell asleep gently, a washcloth in her mouth, to stop the blood, her head on her pillow which overhung her precious little tooth. A few moments later, I came to steal from him to exchange him for a small toy.

Tonight I'm The Rock! A tough guy with a tender heart who plays the Feetaud of teeth! I am proud to have achieved this feat, but no more than to see my little one giving me her confidence.

Still, I promise myself to try the door thing one day. If it's not with her, it will be with one of the other two! I still have plenty of teeth in stock.


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