The father-daughter relationship is special and constantly evolving. The father has an influence from the age of 3 on how his daughter will be confirmed in her gender throughout her life, as well as in her role as a mother later on. Zoom in on this father and daughter bond.
Love changes its face at age 3
Until the age of three, the little girl has a very strong attachment to her mother. Then, she must distance herself from this first fusional love and then turns to her dad who, by his presence, will introduce her to a wider world and give her confidence in her kind of daughter. At that time, the daughter dedicates boundless love to this coveted father and the couple must be strong enough to put everyone in their place.
It will have to be made clear that his father is in love with only one woman, his mother, and that she will later find a man who will love her too. It is a difficult phase to accept and which sometimes takes time to set up or only partially sets up, if the couple is going through difficulties.
This is why in adolescence, the young girl must be able to weave other bonds of love outside the family and letthis relationship with his father full of complicity, but with more modesty and reserve.
The first man in her life
A little girl needs to see her parents love and desire each other; essential so that she can in turn love and be loved.
Thanks to her father who showed her the way, she will live a relationship of love and desire, like that of her parents. The loving look that her father has for her mother is decisive for the little girl, to be happy and fulfilled without fearing in turn to form a couple.
The father helps his daughter develop her femininity and develop her. This masculine look is essential and allows the girl to assert herself in front of a man. It allows her to develop a positive image of herself, even if her gaze remains tender and unambiguous.
Between a father and a daughter, a relationship of love, tenderness and admiration develops. The father must encourage and support her. It shows her the outside world and will also help her open up to professional, personal and romantic life.
A relationship that becomes more complex with adolescence
During adolescence, a distancing is established to allow other men to seduce the young girl.
The young girl becomes more modest and the father has to withdraw while keeping an admiring eye on her attempts to seduce other men throughout her life.
These upheavals that occur, the silhouette that changes, thefirst loves that happen can be experienced with incomprehension by the father. Not only does she distance herself from him, but she may also tend to return to her mother.
Despite all this, the reassuring and admiring gaze must persist. The girl asks for distance, but must keep in mind that he is the one who showed her the way. She gave him her heart, but now she has to give her heart to others to lead her own life. Indeed, not only will she become a woman herself, but she will also be a mother one day and her father must confirm to her throughout her growth that she is capable of carrying life.
- Father-daughter, a story of gaze. Didier Lauru at Albin Michel
- Her father's daughter. Véronique Moraldi at Éditions de l'Homme.
- Fathers of today, daughters of tomorrow. Valérie Colin, editor Marabout