2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
In 2001, Liette Robin and her husband became the parents of Alicia, a Colombian girl aged 3 months. What is special in this adoption story is that the Quebec family maintains contact with the Colombian family! Liette Robin tells us the story!
Goodbye
Initially, we knew she was the fourth child in a united family, unlike many other stories where the pregnant mother is abused or abandoned by the father of the unborn child. From the transcript of their meeting with the notary, we knew that they had thought (or rather hesitated) about adoption throughout the pregnancy, that they were very concerned about their financial capacity to support a new child. and, above all, to educate him. They signed up for adoption five weeks after the birth. Five weeks that were, no doubt in our minds, filled with anguish and hesitation for them.
A rare phenomenon, Alicia's biological parents had returned to say goodbye to her at the end of the 30-day period during which they could reconsider their decision. That night I dreamedthat a deceased person (who was very dear to me) brought the little one to me in my arms. An Alicia identical to the one given to us by the orphanage. (Another interesting fact, Alicia was born at 38 weeks pregnant…exactly 38 weeks after that same person died!). The next day, when I received an email from the agency, I realized that my dream was prescient!
All these elements put together, my husband and I were convinced that the parents had acted out of love for their daughter, and not to “fix” an embarrassing problem. Instinctively, something pushed us to find them to tell them all our love and our gratitude for having allowed us to welcome Alicia to our home. We also wanted to tell them what a wonderful child she is, the happiness she brings to our family and that she is at home with us. These thoughts followed us in our most beautiful dreams. On the other hand, the anguish of rejection, refusal and the anger that they could have towards us, also worried us a little. But always, our instinct brought us back to want to meet them… Since the beginning of our adoption, each time I cradled Alicia, tight against me, images came to me of this woman who ardently wished to find her daughter.
Maribel, Alicia's biological mother
Unfortunately, the orphanage does not encourage contact between biological and adoptive families. So we thought about it for more than two years. We spoke about it to various people in the field. Several discouraged us, several others mentioned being afraid of these contacts with the biological family. But, how could such poor people cause us any trouble? Often they don't even have a phone in their house.
Reunion
Five factors influenced our decision to attempt a reunion:
- Our instinct that guided us in our dream.
- One person was decisive in our choice, having themselves experienced the reunion experience before. For her, there was only one choice to make and it was very clear…
- I was also touched by the eyes of a cousin who had to give her daughter up for adoption here in Quebec 40 years ago. I saw there all the regrets of having lost his daughter forever.
- I watched a report (Enjeux, I believe) where biological mothers from Quebec explained why they wanted to find their child.
- The trip to her country of origin of a Colombian friend who agreed to serve as a carrier pigeon!
Context
If we put ourselves in the context of adoptions taking place today in countries of origin, the situation is quite similar to that of Quebec in the 1950s. Absence of contraception, rejection of single mothers, rejection of orphaned children, lack of financial means to provide for the needs of the child. And, like at that time, mothers, giving away their children, do so hoping that they make the best decision possible, that the child will have aeasier life than they could have given him.
When I found out that our friend was going to Bogota for five weeks, we put a piece of our heart in her suitcase. We saw it as a sign of fate. So she left with a letter that she translated and some photos. She posted the whole thing when she got there. Just TWO days after sending the letter from Bogota, we received an email from Alicia's mother. This was the beginning of a story like the one imagined in our most beautiful dreams…
Siblings in Colombia
An answer full of love
The response was as beautiful as anything we could have hoped for. Alicia's parents wrote that when they received the letter in the mail, they cried with joy, knowing they would finally hear from their daughter. In seven days, they sent four messages. Four messages full of emotions and happiness. They wanted to know everything about the "nina" and the family. Communications were now made from the "familia colombiana" to the "familia canadienne". Basically, they said how happy they were to know that their daughter was well, that we were allowing them to find the "piece of themselves" they needed to be happy, that they were proud to know us, that they wanted that the two families can one day meet. Anyway, we had the same dreams!
Contacts multiply
Then they asked if they could “chat” with us. Wewe needed a translator close to us. Although I can now read and write my messages quite well in Spanish, chatting is a whole different world… During the first session, our first impressions could only be confirmed (always like in our most beautiful dreams). They were so convinced that we would want to find them one day that they shot a video of their family to send to us. They wanted to phone Alicia for her birthday, but we had to explain to them that, unfortunately, she didn't speak Spanish yet (our friend is working on that!). So they sent him a little poem.
A beautiful life lesson
You must remember that the children we have are only lent to us. We are lucky to have understood this through adoption. But, every day since we have this child, we thank her mother for giving us the most beautiful gift there is. Today, we thank her by allowing her to get to know her daughter and her adoptive family a little. Alicia has two names, two countries, two families and two cultures. We believe his heart is big enough to love us all. And, never, do we feel threatened in the face of this reunion. Already, we are all enriched by it. Now, we hope to be able to realize, one day, the end of our dream. I'll let you guess…
Now, when I rock Alicia every day, I rock her a little more for her Colombian mother. And I kiss her a little more too.
