The small directory of crises

2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-11-27 18:44

Any occasion is a good excuse to have a good fit: changing your diaper, dressing, undressing… Sometimes it's better to laugh, as do the moms in the Forum who inspired this article.

Ultrasonic

Seizure that is accompanied by high-pitched sounds, probably detectable by ultrasound-sensitive animals.

The soft one

Crisis where the body must be as soft and heavy as possible, the goal being to be as difficult to manipulate as possible. Can be accompanied by shouting if you want a more dramatic effect.

The Public

Crisis that mainly takes place in a public place, with as many witnesses as possible. The key to this crisis is to calm down immediately when you find yourself alone with your parent.

The dryer

Fictitious crisis which consists in showing as much pity as possible, including baboon and sobs, but where the eyes remain dry.

The twist-and-shout

Seizure that takes place mainly on the changing table or any other place where diapers or clothes are changed, and whichis to squirm as much as possible while screaming to make something very simple, very, very, very complicated… We can judge our success by the degree of sweat of our mother!

The I-don't-want-to-be-in-your-arms-but-not-on-the-floor-either

Crisis which consists in expressing one's dissatisfaction when one is on the ground, but also when mom takes us to console us, and alternate in continuity.

Presto

Crisis with a dramatic rise. It begins with a sulky withdrawal, followed by tense limbs and internalized sounds of frustration. If the child does not get what he wants, he increases the intensity of his tension and his noises, until he explodes with a big boom. Followed by a seizure of your choice: dramatic, soft, ultrasonic… There are thousands of possibilities!

The Velcro

Crisis where one clings by all means (hands, feet, teeth) to all possible places of the place (or the person) that one does not want to leave. And to add punch, we start by refusing to go to this place that we then refuse to leave…

Bacon

Crisis preferably done in front of a large audience. The child sprawled full length screaming on the ground and wriggling his limbs. It usually continues with the soft phase if one tries to pick up the baby from the floor.

The I-pitch-everywhere-and-mainly-the-hard-stuff

Crisis where the child gets so angry that he throws around all the hard toys (so no stuffed animals) that come to hand. Usually results from another crisis phase that was mishandled.

This is mine

Takes place when 2 (or more) children aged 18 to 26 months meet in the same playroom. It consists of finding interesting any toy that is in the hands of the other and wanting to take it away, pulling after it, shouting, sometimes even hitting or pushing the child who is holding the other end. of the toy, repeating ad nauseam "this is mine! and shedding a few tears until an adult intervenes. Post-Crisis, there's inevitably another toy that's going to be "it's mine" until the Terrible Two is over and we learn a little about swapping and share…

The chu-capaaaaaaaaable-all-seeeeeeeeeeul

Crisis that usually occurs when Mom decides things aren't going fast enough and tries to do for baby what baby is desperately trying to do. Going down or up the stairs, getting into the high chair alone, getting into the car, for example. It consists of screaming as if an arm had just been torn off, shouting “capaaaaaaaaable” or “all seuuuuuuuuuul”. This crisis often ends in a prolonged baboon, a question of trying to bring some guilt to this hurried mother who does not leave her poor little one independent.child just waiting to grow up!

I'm-hungry-but…

This crisis is about going on a hunger strike while grabbing as much food as possible from their plate and as soon as you drop the child out of the high chair it is followed by the baby crisis which has look like you've never been fed which consists of pestering Mom until she gives you food again.

The why?

The crisis that arises when babies don't even know why they're crying! One minute happy, the next, wow, what was that? Well usually it's when baby is tired, tired.

Drama

When our 3-year-old or older decides he's so sorry and howls at the moon emitting huge heartfelt sobs, crying out his pain so incoherently that 'absolutely no one understands the reason for this great pain. This crisis usually ends as abruptly as it began…

The BIG bobo

Screams in order with a repetition of "bobo", "bobo mom", "mom", "bobo mom" generally accompanied by big tears and whose sobs stop as soon as said mom says "come, I'll go to you give a kiss" and the smile returns as soon as said kiss is given at the place chosen by the child.

The famous "It's looooonnnnngggg"

Crisis that usually comes with a childolder who knows how to articulate his words when he is in a car/carriage/basket/wheelbarrow, etc. and who finds the time terribly long and wants to get out of the uncomfortable situation by dint of "it's long!" », « are you coming? ", " when will we arrive? », « I am a good tanner! ", etc. Can also occur with a young child, normally it's just high-pitched screaming that makes any adult present in said situation cringe.

The not capable

Crisis that consists of a repetition of caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa of of Can sometimes end in a higher-pitched cry when we offer this help, because the child wants to do everything on his own. Usually this crisis occurs in the middle of the terrible two.

Brotherly Solidarity

Crisis which consists in uniting one's voice with that of one's big brother in order to demolish the adversary… It is practiced daily, with each crisis of the big brother! She is very effective, especially when mom is exhausted!

Milk Crisis

Crisis that occurs when a toddler wants the breast, but his naughty mother refuses to give it to him for X reason (usually when mom is busy). The crisis only ends when baby has had what he wanted (even more difficult to resist if you have a plunging neckline). This crisis is reserved exclusively for mom. Particularly challengingat night.

La I-woke-up-in-a-bad-mood-good

Crisis that occurs in the toddler who is barely old enough to signify his displeasure accompanied by gestures… Said discontent is adaptable to any situation without exception, including an overview of the crisis "the dramatic" where the child puts all his good will to express himself in the most incomprehensible way possible when the reason for his tears is mentioned. Thus, getting caught can be a good reason to perpetuate the crisis. Wanting to go down too, being hungry, not being hungry anymore, not wanting a brother to be close to him… The goal being to have attention and to cause as much pity as possible while making sure to be as disturbing as possible, while lyrifying in the most annoying way possible in continuity. Said crisis generally disappears under the threat or under the act of sending the darling back to bed to acquire more rest or with time. Time to be distracted by something that takes away from the activity in which he reveled, namely to get on the nerves of mom.

La Iiiiiii! Iiiiiiiiii! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiii!!!

Note that this crisis is reserved exclusively for children with one or more older siblings. It applies when baby has a toy or bottle stolen. It can also apply when the place of choice - chair, couch, floor, whatever, as long as it is exactly the same place that the other wantedsit or stand. Obviously this place was the best! Thus, series of extremely “eardrum-busting” cries are the most effective in attracting the attention of a close relative and signaling their indignation! Note that said technique will undoubtedly end up being used for selfish and purely strategic purposes when the time comes to have a coveted toy, but used by an older person. It will be enough to use the same modus operandi during a real theft - the child must ensure that no adult witnesses that no theft has been perpetrated. This technique is only effective for a time unfortunately, adults being less fooled than the child believed and when the ploy is gutted, it unfortunately no longer has any impact.

La roulade

For no reason, no trigger, this seizure is all about rolling around the house banging your head on the floor! She starts her meltdown in the living room and rolls into the kitchen and after that she gets up and is great.

Prions-in-church

Or sit-stand-in-arms-kneeling crisis which consists in alternating the different positions without ever being satisfied: immediately in the arms, you want to return to the ground, then once on your knees on the ground, implore to come back in the arms…

Leave-me-not-here

Consists of convincing the adult by methods dating from medieval times including the headbutt, thewriggling limbs, guttural noises, the killer look and the tear of a crocodile. Typically used for babysitting or wanting to take time off from daycare. Surprisingly, it does not declare itself at home, but once it is elsewhere.

The I-could-like-it-suddenly

Grosso modo, the crisis becomes effective like the expiry date of a yogurt, overnight! One day, we like carrots, we eat a whole dish of them and the next day we MAKE a big deal of having to eat ONE carrot cut in 4. This crisis drives the parent crazy who ends up bursting a small vein in his eye.

La I-me-not-lie-to-evening-I-said

Crisis that looks suspiciously like a union demand. Intense and senseless stubbornness, misunderstanding of the parent part. Skips the soap opera and/or the hockey game. Generates frustrations and keeps mental fatigue active.

The Crazy Race

I find myself funny and I run away from you. You look stupid chasing after me, your eyes wide because you're aware of the danger. Often in a parking lot, a big store or a crowded public place. You catch me and I laugh again. Especially because of your angry look and your clown cheeks that don't match.

The tee-conne

Usually occurs in children who have started school and learn all kinds of new words from their boyfriends. Usually due to mom putting it onwithdrawn in his room for not having listened to the instructions or his rudeness… The child ended up yelling “you stupid” from the other side of his bedroom door!

It's-not-me-it's-him

Usually occurs when the child gets caught doing a "forbidden" or just "not-intelligent-at-all" act. The child loses all his means in front of the adult and begins to cry, shouting it's-not-me-it's-him. Usually the "te-conne" crisis follows a few minutes later.

Thank you Forum moms who contributed to this thread!