We don't agree on the first name

She wants her grandfather's name, he wants a modern name. She wants a classic name, he wants a rare name… What to do when you don't agree on a name?

The first name a child will have is important. This is the name he will carry all his life and it is a choice his parents will have to justify to their friends, family and everyone who meets him during his first years of life. Sometimes parents have a big crush on a particular first name and the choice is obvious from the first weeks of pregnancy. Other times, ideas pile up and we can't agree.

The more you think about it, the more you hesitate

At the beginning of pregnancy, a few first names come to mind spontaneously and we think that it will be easy to choose the baby's first name. These are good-sounding names that we intended to give our children when we were young, or characters from movies or novels that represent something special.

Sometimes these two or three names have almost passed all the tests, until you tell the immediate family and a look of almost disdain comes through. That's it, our mother or our mother-in-law does not agree. What's wrong with thisfirst name? He is not beautiful? Is it old? He is strange? It's a first name that's too original and our child is going to be bothered at school because of us?

The sooner we tell others about the chosen first name, the more they are likely to sow doubt in our minds. This is why it is better to agree between parents before talking about the chosen first name to the rest of the family. Trying too hard to please everyone makes it hard to get along.

Exercises

If you have diametrically opposed ideas about what a beautiful name is, you can go through exercises that will help you find common ground.

For example, each choose five names that you like and take the time to find all the derivatives of the ten names submitted. If you like the name Anne, you could write Annie, Anne-Marie, Marianne, Anne-Lise, Louane, Christiane, Adrianne, Ariane, etc. You might end up finding a name that sounds good to you.

Otherwise, pick a name from the ten chosen names and call your future child that for a few days. Maybe by using it, you'll end up adopting it, or rejecting it for reasons you didn't think of.

You can also alternate. Indeed, if you already know that you will have several children, you can take turns finding the name.

Government deadlines

The Director of Civil Status only allows thirty days after the birth to agree on a first name, after whicha fee will be charged.

Fee charged for late registration of a birth

Less than a year after birth: $53.25
More than one year after birth: $107

Compromise and patience

Since we don't know our child yet. It is difficult to guess his features and personality. What we do know, however, is that the compromises we make in choosing a first name are the first in a long series that allow parents to raise children together in good harmony.

You'll probably spell his name often, no matter which one you choose. You'll also find someone to make funny comments about your funny name, whether your kid's name is Thomas or Donovan. So it's better to choose a name that you really like.

Only time will tell if your Angelique will be inconvenient or if your Victor will be a sore loser. By the time you know it, your child's name will have become a part of him that he wouldn't trade for anything in the world.