2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
For family harmony, communication is the key! But it happens, as they get older, that some children are less inclined to confide. How to encourage them to communicate with you?
Always show your child that you are interested in what he is going through, and to do this, ask him questions. Choose simple questions, but still require a more developed answer than a simple "yes" or "no".
Don't Play Police
Asking questions, be it: but don't play the police either, by making your child pass too sharp an interrogation! If you stun him with questions, he could, among other things, feel that you don't trust him, which would have the effect of removing his desire to confide.
Talking about you
Communication obviously involves an exchange, so get wet: tell him stories that have happened to you that could help him feel better. But don't take over the discussion: stay focused on him!
There are things you can write on paper, but not necessarilysay out loud. This is why maintaining a correspondence can be an excellent way to maintain communication with your child. Receiving letters is always fun (not to mention it's good for the intellect!)
Your older child is always in front of his computer? You might decide to exchange emails.
Choosing the right moment
Right after school, your child is a little tired; in the morning, he is in a bad mood: if you bombard him with questions in these less happy times, he may be more reluctant to answer, even annoyed by your interest. Wait, and try to notice when your child is most likely to talk (at bedtime, before supper, while doing the dishes, in the car).
Doing activities together
Each week, find time to do a one-on-one activity with your child. Learn (or relearn) to have fun doing a task together, cooking, grocery shopping, going for a walk. You will then have a better complicity and, by the same token, a much better communication.
Not always easy to discuss in the family hubbub! If it's a mess at home, try to find a time when you'll be alone with your child. Before bed, maybe, or in the early morning.
Choosing the right words
Reproaches are useless: especially not if your child is withdrawn! So choosethe right words. Be compassionate and listen. If he doesn't want to talk about a topic, it's probably better to talk about something else. It often happens that by discussing everything and nothing, without realizing it, we open the door to more delicate subjects.
Do not judge or minimize
Be it: the miseries of children can sometimes seem trivial, even laughable. Remember that, for him, they are not! If he confides in you, stay open and don't judge his feelings. On the contrary: put yourself in his shoes.
Voice your opinion without devaluing theirs and thereby acknowledge that it is okay to disagree. Along these lines, talk to your child rather than lecturing, criticizing, threatening, or even being hurtful.
What is his favorite band, his favorite sport, his favorite video game, the name of his friends? Take an interest in your child by learning about their interests.
Don't do anything else while your child is talking to you. If he opens up to you, you should show him that you're listening to him: don't be distracted by anything else. Be with him 100%, and try not to cut him off. It's important to listen to their point of view, even if you don't necessarily share it.
It's never too early (or almost…) to open a dialogue with our child. He is three years old and spends the day at daycare? Get used to youtalk at me altimes. Take turns sharing with family members something you liked about your day. It's a known fact: the earlier you start good habits, the easier they are to maintain!
Have a family meeting to discuss a ritual that would appeal to the children and spark discussion without them noticing too much. For example, place different questions in a jar. Pick one each, and answer it! You could also get into the habit of going around the table at dinner time.
Passing the Torch
If nothing is working, and your child doesn't want to talk to you, maybe it's time to pass the torch and encourage them to talk with someone else, a member of the family, a close friend, or even a "stranger" they trust. Either way, remind him regularly that you'll always be there for him, if he needs to talk.