2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
The more children a mother has, the higher the likelihood that she will become a housewife. However, many mothers of large families choose to return to the labor market.
When I go out with my three children, it is common for strangers to approach me and congratulate me on my beautiful big family. Some add: “I imagine that you stay at home. When I tell them that I continue to work and that I have multiple professional projects, I sometimes provoke looks of disapproval or pity. Is it possible to reconcile work and a large family? Absolutely!
What motivates mothers of large families to return to the labor market?
Over the past forty years, the number of families in which both parents are in the labor market has almost doubled1. Of this population, it was recorded that in 2006, 29.5% of Canadian households had 3 or more children2. We can therefore estimate that the number of mothers of large families who are employed has also increased.
The decision to continue working in addition to having several dependent children is based on well-founded reasonspersonal, according to the beliefs of each. Of course, many mothers have to keep their jobs for financial reasons. Many women who return to the workforce voluntarily have many years of schooling and a career they are passionate about.
I asked mothers of large families about their motivations for continuing to work. Here are some testimonials:
“At work, I learn something every day. I consolidate my strengths and improve my weaknesses. I need to be valued. When I pass the sweeper, no one says bravo! Working for an inspiring boss is stimulating and pushes us to surpass ourselves. »
- Esther, mother of four children.
“What motivates me is that I like to work and I have always liked to work. I like who I am at work: motivated, efficient, resourceful and smiling. I love the recognition I get there. I like having my own salary. Even if at the end of the day, I spend very little on myself. Even if I would like to have a less busy schedule, I know that the crazy schedule I lead leads me to optimize each of its minutes, and in my case, it makes me livelier. »
- Marie-Lou, mother of three children.
“There is no doubt that I love my children more than anything, but I have a very strong social side. My job meets my need to socialize with many people and chat with other adults. It also allows me to be stimulatedintellectually. »
- Chantal, mother of four.
The woman behind the mother
We often talk about the importance of taking care of the couple who were present long before the children arrived, but what about the woman who fulfilled herself at work before becoming a mother? The arrival of children in a woman's life sometimes changes her priorities and this can lead to questions about her professional life. However, many mothers of large families consider that their employment contributes to their personal well-being.
“I had professional aspirations before becoming a mother. If I had put them aside, I am convinced that I would have regrets and that these would influence my attitude towards my children. I am happy to meet my kids at the end of my day and share my achievements with them. I want to be a role model for them and instill in them the importance of loving your career and achieving your goals. »
- Karine, mother of 3 children.
“When I was on maternity leave, I always needed to be busy with various involvements or schooling to feel complete. »
- Esther, mother of four children.
When you become a parent, maintaining a balance between family life, couple time, time for yourself, social life and work can be a challenge. You will benefit from rigorously planning times for each of these spheres of life. Each of them brings its share of happiness, but also of difficulties. If youinvest totally in only one of these spheres and you live trials in this one, where will you seek your comfort? It's best not to put all your eggs in one basket!
When a family has several children, time management and organization become a necessity! By the way, did you know that the more children women have, the more productive they are at work3? Researchers explain this by their great ability to coordinate everything. This is a study employers should be aware of!
10 tips for having a fulfilling family life while working
Everyday life with several children can quickly become a whirlwind that makes us lose our bearings! Here are ten tips that will allow you to have a harmonious family life and avoid exhaustion:
- Team up with your life partner, both in household chores and in raising children. Divide the tasks according to your respective skills.
- Reserve an exclusive moment for each of your children in your week. Let them choose what they want to do with you during this time. However, offer guidelines that will guide them in making a choice. For example, determine the budget and time available for the activity.
- As soon as you get home, take 15 minutes for family fun. Eliminate distractions, close all screens, and don't answer the phone. You will fill theneed attention from your little ones and your supper will probably be more peaceful. Also avoid being disturbed when you are about to put your children to bed. They will more easily accept parting with you for the night if you have been totally available to them previously.
- Use a family calendar to reconcile the schedules of all family members and plan moments of healing for you, your couple and your family.
- Plan your meals and involve your children in preparing them. Cook your meals twice and you will have small dishes for the children's lunches or for a later meal.
- Establish a daily routine. Children feel confident and spring into action more easily when events recur in the same order each day.
- Make a list of the rules that your couple prioritizes for your family. A common vision of education is the basis of a pleasant family life. Let go for the rest!
- Involve your children in your household chores. Offer them tasks suited to their abilities. They will be proud to lend you a hand. In addition, they will develop their autonomy, resourcefulness and sense of responsibility!
- If you can afford it, delegate chores to professionals who can do them for you, such as cleaning, mowing the lawn, accounting, etc.
- Tag someone in your entourage with whom you can discussyour concerns and who can support you if you experience difficulties.
So stay home or go back to work? Whatever your decision, it is essential that you are at peace with your choice. There will always be people whose opinion opposes yours. By acting according to your convictions, you allow yourself to access happiness!
