2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
Family dynamics have settled in and now you're pregnant again? How do you go about preparing siblings for this new baby?
Bringing the news to the children
You are looking for the magic words to announce the news to your children. Those who will ensure that they will be elated with joy and excitement, not apprehension and jealousy. But as with all big changes, there are no magic words! The more positive you are, the more serene you will be and the easier it will be for them to accept the news.
According to their age, explain things to them simply, but honestly. You can tell them that you wanted to add even more love to the house, but it's good to warn them that things will change with the arrival of the baby. This is not to scare them, but rather to give them time to prepare. You can also reassure them that even though there will be a new person to love, you will love them just as much as before. We know it: our hearts grow and make room for each of our children, so tell your children!
What if they react badly?
No matter how much we do to make our children happythat we of this beautiful news, remains that it is a big change that they have to live and it is possible that they have a negative reaction. Some will have tantrums or show aggression, will refuse to touch mom's belly, and will even go so far as to regress at several levels of their learning. It's not uncommon for a potty-trained child to start peeing their pants again or to beg to go back to diapers. While this may seem ominous to you at the time, it's actually a completely normal reaction that indicates your child is mentally preparing for the changes that are coming in their own way. Accompany him in this, and avoid making him feel guilty for his actions even if you don't like them. Encourage him to verbalize his feelings, which will help him on his journey.
Some parents believe that room sharing has a positive impact on relationships between siblings while others believe the opposite. To make the best decision, consider the older child's personality, age, and reaction to the arrival of a new sibling. Is your child happy with the arrival of this new baby or, on the contrary, does he need his space to adapt to the big changes? The age difference between them also matters: if they are very close in age, they risk being accomplices and getting along well, whereas a big age difference can cause the eldest to be disturbed by the presence of alittle baby.
Preparing children according to their age
For the youngest
- Encourage your child to touch your belly. Seeing it grow, and feeling the baby move inside will make your pregnancy more concrete for him.
- Take advantage of the last months of pregnancy to spend intimate moments with your child.
- To help her understand all that is involved with bringing a new baby home, you can use a doll or her favorite figurines and show her how to hold the baby, how to gently touch her, etc.. These situations will prepare him to be around the baby in a safe way and will give him confidence.
- Show your child where baby will sleep, diapers, and all baby-related accessories.
- Take these few months as an opportunity to teach him to be more independent. When done in a positive way, everyone wins.
- Plan a visit to a breastfeeding drop-in with your child, to allow him to be in contact with other babies.
- Planning tandem breastfeeding? Show him beautiful pictures of co-breastfed children and discuss them with him.
- If you want your child to be present at the birth, explain it to him in terms he can understand. Talk about it and show her touching birth pictures or videos.
For the older ones
- Show yourchild pictures of him baby. Tell her about the good times you had together by telling her how life with baby will be.
- There are several excellent children's books that explain what having a baby entails. Take a trip to the bookstore to find one that suits you.
- Explain to your child that you will need him when the baby arrives. You can also plan tasks so that they feel involved in the adventure.
- Invite him to participate in the preparations of the future baby's room, the preparation of your birth bag, etc.
- Ask your child to accompany you to a pregnancy follow-up appointment. Hearing baby's heart will be an unforgettable experience for him! You can also take her to the ultrasound, it's awesome!
- Ask him to buy a gift for the baby at his birth. You can also buy him a gift for the occasion. After all, becoming a big brother or big sister is something to celebrate too!
- If your child needs babysitting, choose someone they love and trust.
Closer or far?
Both choices come with their own set of challenges and advantages, which can sometimes make the decision difficult. According to several psychologists, the ideal gap is between 3 and 7 years. Why? Because the key period of the child's emotional development (the first 3 years of life) has passed, whichmakes it easier for them to adapt to the arrival of a new family member. Others are of the opinion that there is not really an ideal age difference, and that the decision should rather be made according to the needs and desires of the family.