You all have people around you whose children are real tyrants. How could these cute and innocent children turn into whiny, spoiled brats?
Are the parents of spoiled children resigned, lax, absent, or just plain overwhelmed?
The capricious child
All children will try to get what they want on a whim and that's completely normal, but depending on their family environment and the reaction of their parents it will lessen or worsen over the years.
In modern society, children tend to be regarded as “little kings”. Parents think that for a child to be happy it is essential to cover him with gifts, to give in to all his whims and voila! Unfortunately, they make mistakes, project onto the child what they did not have during their childhood and forget the fundamental principles of education.
Consequence: their children are unbearable, poorly educated, and not necessarily very happy.
Absent Parents, Beware
You should know that it is imperative that parents be present with their children between 12 months and 4 years old,because it is at this age that everything is played and that they will be able to teach the child to set limits that will serve him throughout his life as an individual.
In general, when parents are away, it is with grandmothers or nannies that they spend the most time. They feed them, clothe them, and take them to school. They therefore play a decisive role in their education. They tend to indulge the children's every whim and become surrogate mothers.
Dominant Child Kings and Anxious Child Kings
The dominator represents the rotten spoiled brat in all his glory. Impulsive, rebellious to any form of authority whatsoever, he has no sense of discipline and effort. At school, he is the one who usually makes the other children in his class cry, is mocking and slips up very quickly.
Then there is the child king, the anxious one who is much more sympathetic than the overbearing child king. Unlike the latter, the anxious child king is not impulsive, he is fragile, unhappy and shows strong tendencies towards anxiety and anguish. He feels a vital need to be supervised and suffers from the laxity of his parents. He is constantly in search of love, affection, security.
How not to spoil your child too much?
Christmas parties and birthdays are all opportunities to spoil our children. How to make them happy without rotting them?
Here are some tips:
- Youwill have to show him that his wishes are not orders and that he cannot always have what he wants. If he fantasizes about a toy touted in an advertisement or by his friends, go and test it in the store with him so that he discovers his limits or realizes that he already has the same one at home.
- Refuse when it seems to you that he himself is not really convinced that he wants this toy and that it is just to satisfy an immediate need.
- Apart from parties or his birthday, you can give him gifts, but always by explaining to him why you are doing it (good grades at school, good behavior…) and not because he is making a whim.
How to deal with your child's whims?
In order for your charming toddler not to turn into a total despot, you must respect certain essential rules.
- First of all, you will have to be as present as possible as parents and not entrust his education to anyone else, because in a few days all your work to instill in him certain values and certain limits will be see can be annihilated.
- Then you can spoil it your way without going to extremes.
- If your child is under three years old, you should know that his desires and emotions rule him. It is therefore useless to want to reason with him, you will have to be cunning. Offer him an activity, surprise him by making funny faces or imitate him, invent a game or a story to defuse the incipient whim (ex: the candy wants to staywith his friends in the club), make a contract, or just let his anger go if you feel up to it.
- After 3 years you can use language and explain to them, but without justifying yourself.
- Make him talk to find out why he wants this truck so badly, stay calm, comply with his request when possible, say no firmly, be consistent and don't get confused.