Parents blush in shame while passers-by stare at them because their child is screaming his displeasure! We give you tips for dealing with crises in public without losing face!
Why do children have fits?
At first, toddlers have tantrums because they don't have the vocabulary to express their anger or sadness and they don't have not yet developed techniques to deal with these intense emotions. For the older ones, even if they are able to express themselves, they may continue to have tantrums if they have never found ways to calm themselves down, because they have a greater need attention or out of bad habit. For example, if the child notices that his parents tend to give in to his demands if he has a tantrum, he will be tempted to repeat the experience.
Preventing seizures in public
Here are some tips that can help you prevent public outbursts and prepare your child properly for outings.
- Tell your child before you arrive at your destination. Explain to him where you are going and what you intend to buy. Children are more receptive when theyknow what to expect.
- Set clear boundaries about acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Determine with him the consequences of not following the instructions.
- Don't ask too much of him. It is important to respect his age and his level of understanding, but also his general condition. For example, a tired child will become irritated more easily, and a hungry child may want to rob the candy aisle.
- Bring a snack and some of his favorite toys to distract him as children can get bored easily, especially if your shopping doesn't concern him.
- Observe the times or reasons that trigger seizures in public and avoid repeating these scenarios if possible.
- Encourage your child to participate in your shopping. You can give him a choice between two he althy items, ask him his opinion or explain to him the usefulness of various items in order to mobilize his attention.
How to handle the crisis?
No matter how much we warn, sometimes children have a fit despite all our good intentions. After all, they are children and there is nothing guaranteed in how they may react! However, there are a number of things you can do to help your child calm down. First, it is important to remain constant in your interventions. Here are some tips to help you deal with the crisis early on and to avoidlet them reproduce:
- At the first signs of agitation, remove your child to a more intimate corner and remind him of the instructions and the consequences if he does not follow them.
- Ask your child to express how they feel by helping them put their emotions into words so they don't quickly become overwhelmed by negative emotions.
- If a crisis occurs despite everything, stay calm. Your child will sense that you are upset and this may intensify their reaction.
- Speak softly to your child in crisis and, if he allows you to do so, hug him so that he feels reassured. You can also return to a quiet place to give him time to experience this moment of intense emotions away from people's eyes.
- If your child can't come to their senses, leave your shopping behind and take a break from the car. You'll come back once he's calmed down and you've taken the time to check in with him.
- Never give in to a crisis! The child will quickly learn that all he has to do is throw a tantrum to change your mind.
- Avoid focusing on what people around you think of you and stay focused on your child: he is learning and needs your full attention.
- When the tantrum is over, praise your child for regaining his composure. By reinforcing positive behaviors, he will be more tempted to reproduce them on his own.same.
- Don't be discouraged if he continues to throw tantrums in public. Remain consistent in your interventions and over time, he will know that he has nothing to gain by reproducing this behavior.