The attacks of the famous “terrible two” are exhausting for parents who experience them repeatedly, but they are normal at this age. However, there may be overflows. An article on whether we should be worried.
According to the opinion of many psychologists, it is normal for a child of two years to have seizures. At this age, he cannot assert himself and express himself in any other way. For him, it is easier to “explode”… unfortunately for us, his parents. We quickly become specialists in all types of crises, knowing how to detect what is wrong and, above all, how to get out of it.
An unmissable period?
Specialists agree to explain the crises of the "terrible two" as a period when "the child learns to differentiate himself from others and to assert himself, while simultaneously having to adapt to the constraints of the reality”, as noted by Joe-Ann Benoit, psychotherapist, lecturer and author of Discipline – From reaction to relational and Solutions for today's families. Normally, around the age of three, the crises fade and disappear, only to becomeonly occasionally.
However, there are a few situations that should alert us as parents. Even if it is tempting during this difficult year to put all the blame on the account of the "terrible two", this tactic would not be profitable… as much for us as for the child. It is our task as parents to detect what is happening in our child and react to it. We can't just decide it's the "terrible two" and wait for this period to pass.
The "terrible two" is a milestone in the lives of children. They test our limits, flirt with danger, build their personality, differentiate themselves from others, understand the world better and face the constraints of reality.
Here are some situations that should lead us to think and, perhaps, to consult:
Our child is very aggressive
He is violent towards us, the other children or even towards himself. These behaviors should not be allowed to become habitual reactions to any problem.
Suggested Reading
- My child bites, what should I do?
- Hit, push and bite
- Act early on child aggression.
- What behaviors should I punish?
- Anger tantrums in children
Our discipline techniques have no effect on the child
We tried to explain to him, to apply the withdrawal technique, the punishment, the withdrawal of privileges,positive reinforcement, but nothing helps.
Suggested Reading
- Good foundations for effective discipline
- Discipline, an eternal restart
- Funny ways to defuse a crisis
- Towards two years old, he doesn't want…
- Discipline - intervening positively
- How to calm a fit in public
Our child uses tantrums to get EVERYTHING he wants
Sometimes, we suspect that our toddler has found a way to make us bend by chaining tantrums or tantrums. This is his way of blackmailing and especially of drawing attention to himself. Don't play his game.
Suggested Reading
- The need for attention
- Distinguishing a need from a want in my child
- Dealing with your frustrations
- He insists on everything, everything, everything
Help, we're cracking
As parents, you feel that crises generate too many negative emotions in you. Even if you have the best intentions in the world, you may lose control in the heat of the moment. We react too quickly, we say hurtful words (we qualify our child instead of targeting his behavior), we have disproportionate reactions, etc. In this case, we must also act so that the crises do not escalate. Indeed, no one can effectively manage an overflowemotions if you are angry, sad or discouraged yourself.
Suggestions: we call a parental listening line, we ask our spouse to take over, we withdraw to regain our calm and we will seek help to better manage our overflow of emotion.
Inspiring Reading
- Oh no! Not a crisis! By Dr. Nadia Gagnier, La Presse editions, 2006. ISBN: 9782923194325, 14, 95 $
