With the Christmas holidays approaching, you may be worried about the attitude of your teenager who is starting to feel bad about these meetings. Are we forcing him to follow or not?
What was planned to be a pleasant evening turned into a disaster! Your parents had convinced you to accompany them because your cousins would be present at this evening. Finally, the cousins are conspicuous by their absence. You find yourself the only teenager and you are royally bored. Who will have to pay for this? To pout? Whine? Complaining? Ask your parents to leave immediately? Between you and me, no one has to pay for this situation. It's only a few hours in your beautiful and long life that begins.
You add more and when you leave, you don't want to say thank you to your hosts? Why, then? Is it so important to demonstrate your disappointment to all the guests? So, say thank you to your hosts anyway… and you will be congratulated for your good manners!
Say loud and clear Thank you! In your heart of hearts, you always have the right to tell yourself that you won't get caught twice…
Rules of etiquette often take “the edge” when our emotions (including disappointment) take over.above. Here are some suggestions that will save you another disaster, because there is nothing worse for people who receive than knowing that one of their guests is unhappy to be present!
Tips for young people
It's not rude to ask your parents to make sure other kids your age are there. You won't die sharing an evening with adults or younger than you.
- It is allowed to ask your host if you can bring games or a book. He'll know right away that you might slip away while the adults are talking to each other.
- It is rather impolite to bring items and toys without telling your host!
- You must remain at the table throughout the meal period. You should not ask to leave the table permanently before having had your dessert.
- You can volunteer to help with the service or the dishes. If you do, your gesture will be noticed. But if you're not comfortable, tell your parents in confidence.
- You should not play a video game, talk on the phone or read at the table, but rather take advantage of the situation to participate in discussions, without however taking the floor.
- Adults should always encourage a young person who tries to participate in a discussion. In the past young people were forbidden to do so, but times have changed. If you are asked to be quiet, stay calm. Listen wisely to conversations and you will always be able to give your opinions toyour parents when you get home.
- This time with friends is not the time to “pass messages” to your parents. This is called “washing dirty laundry in public”. One always avoids negotiating with one's parent, taking the other guests "as witnesses" believing that one can win one's case.
Rule
Leaving childhood means being able to accept that the world no longer revolves around you, and accepting to take your place with everyone in an egalitarian way and without destroying the prevailing atmosphere.
The frankness always has its place and any adult must understand that a teenager of age to stay alone at home will prefer it to an imposed evening, surrounded by adults. It is even advisable to explain to your child beforehand what the hosts and other guests of this evening mean to you. Never keep your teenager in the dark. Disrespect grows in ignorance.
Tips for Parents
- During the invitation, it is not rude to ask if there will be young people of your child's age.
- Remind your host that if some guests drop out, you would like to be notified, so you can tell your child.
- It is not impolite to ask your host if your child can bring games, books or items allowing them to have fun during the evening.
- It is rather impolite to bring items and toys without telling your host!
- Your child must remain at the table throughout the supper period. He should not askdefinitely leave the table before having normally taken his dessert.
- Don't force your child to do the washing up or washing up. He must offer himself.
- If your host asks your child to get up from the table, don't interfere.
- The young person should not play a video game, talk on the phone or read at the table, but rather take advantage of the situation to talk to the people present.
- Adults should never “hustle” a young person who tries to participate in a discussion. Even if his opinion is wrong and if he speaks clumsily. Instead, encourage him and know that it's okay to make a comment while remaining polite in the way you do so.
- This time with friends is not the time to "send messages" to your child. This is called “washing dirty laundry in public”. We always avoid giving our child as an example in the context of a negative situation. Whether or not he is present at the table. He can hear if he is in the house.
- Alcoholic beverages should be consumed in moderation when our children share our meal. Leading by example at a dinner party will let them see that you respect their presence. But this situation will give you "weapons" when your child begins to consume alcoholic beverages.
- The evening shouldn't last long if you know your youngster isn't comfortable. You asked him for a few hours of sacrifice foryour happiness? Now it's your turn to be reasonable and leave the party at a time that suits everyone.
Rule
When forcing an event on someone, be sure to listen to that person's needs. Taking an interest in his comfort will assure you of his complicity and will avoid misconduct.
