2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
In addition to speaking very loudly while massacring the French language, your child suddenly disrespects you? Is this the famous teenage crisis?
With good care, your baby has grown up. In fact, it's so big that it catches up to you in size if it hasn't outgrown you yet, and it eats for eight to get there. He might need a razor, she might need a bra, and you're getting better and better at visualizing the future adult you're still raising. You would be in an admirable mood today if your child hadn't just insulted you or rebelled against one of your reasonable decisions.
Once in a while you wonder if things will settle down and if you'll get back to the beautiful relationship you've always had. Here are some answers to smile again during this difficult and thankless period that is the teenage crisis.
The Opposition
Although some teenagers go through this period without the slightest outburst of revolt, except for a few small jolts to determine new rules better suited to their age, others are often in opposition and seek to provoke their parents in the most arrogant way possible.
Of course,many parents find it hard to accept that their children answer them with so little restraint and that they do less and less what they are asked to do. I will not try to minimize it, it is unpleasant, humiliating and stressful since we have the impression of losing control and of no longer being able to ensure the safety of our child at a time when he is taking more more risk.
Adolescent psychology is very complex. If you try to be too friendly with a rebellious teenager, he will disrespect you. If you are too firm, he will be frustrated and angry. The best thing to do, in my opinion, is to be honest and calm with him and have clear and consistent rules.
Changes
Adolescence, like the period of no, is a delicate period during which you have to try to understand your child so as not to lose control and your composure. Remember that at two years old your children finally began to express their wishes correctly and realized with horror that despite their best efforts, you could refuse. So they decided to refuse in turn, in order to assert themselves.
Similarly, a teenager has learned a lot and is not equipped to understand that your decisions, which seem arbitrary to him, are based on your experience. They are not yet as wise as you and wisdom only comes with time. So it's up to you to be patient. As they say, "If youth knew, if age could".
Your child is going through a period of changehormonal stresses that can affect his mood, a period of rapid growth that tires him even more, and a period when interest in the opposite sex is heightened, when sports competition is fierce and when school learning is increasingly complex. It is an exhausting time and we would be at least as impatient as they were in their place; also, the least you can do is be a little indulgent about what they live and especially the way they do it.
Security and Cooperation
Since we don't want our child to be happy only in our absence, the best thing to do is to talk to them, to explain to them our decisions, the risks that we are not ready to run and to find common ground on certain aspects such as going out, dating, Facebook, cell phone, etc.
Since your teenager wants to go to the movies and to the park with his friends – alone and without mom of course! -, it would be wise to think about your limits now. Before talking to him about it, think about all the elements that need to be determined. Ask yourself who he will be able to do what with, where you agree to let him go, until what time and by what means. If you are of an anxious nature, you can get him a cell phone that will allow him to call you in case of emergency, to give you news from time to time and to ask you to pick him up. Good communication will minimize the risk of crises and conflicts.
As for Facebook, there is no escaping it, your child will probably have an account. The legal age to use Facebook is 13 years old. As with anything involving children online, you can make sure there aren't any shady strangers on his list who seem like they want to meet him. You can also take an interest in their interactions to prevent bullying from also worsening the family atmosphere. As for being "Facebook friends" with your child, this is a bit of a tricky question that we will come back to in another article!
In short, adolescence, dreaded by all parents, is a period of adjustments, for them as for us, in everything that concerns freedom and interpersonal relationships. The more you discuss with your child in order to support your values and beliefs, the more he will be inclined to trust you and want to make you proud. Your relationship will help him through what is, in my opinion, one of the most difficult and rewarding periods of our lives. We've all been there and while you won't always be able to keep your rambunctious or grumpy teenager from losing a few feathers, you can at least tell yourself that you did your best, while training your patience.
