High school: to follow friends or not?

You started your high school “shopping” last year, when your child was in fifth grade. You have found establishments that meet their needs and desires and that also integrate well into your daily life (bus service or accessibility by public transport, etc.). But another aspect remains: friendships. Will your child follow their friends or not?

For Maxime, Valérie's son, the choice was not easy. Very gifted at school, he passed the admission tests with flying colors to enter a renowned international secondary school with very high quotas. He was the only one of his group of friends to be admitted. "Maxime was torn between the two choices available to him: follow his friends or go alone to the international school," says his mother. Without putting any pressure on him, Valérie got her son to think about what he really wanted, what was best for him, for his future. It was Maxime who had the last word, who made the choice. "He decided to go to the international school, even if he does not know anyone,” his mother reveals.

A decision that belongs to the child

Would you like your child to be admitted to a private school or a specialized program that you find good? Remember that you can influence your child's choice, but your child should have the final say. Forcing him to attend a school that he does not like could make him deeply unhappy and affect his academic performance. Remember that it is not school that will make your child smart, but rather a stimulating environment, combined with the personal experiences of the young person.

The importance of dialogue

Your child is admitted to a great secondary school that he liked during the visit and which has programs that correspond to his tastes, but he persists in wanting to follow his friends in a school that suits him less? Take the time to talk calmly with him. Ask him questions that will make him reflect on his motivations. Tell him about yourself, the time when you had to choose your secondary school, your fears at that time, your regrets, etc. If you are still in contact with friends from high school, tell him about the beginning of these friendships, reassure him that he will make new friends, etc. Be open and understanding.

Beyond School

Of course, a good school, with good teachers, are important elements for your child to succeed and havedesire to continue their studies. However, we should not forget that you also have a key role to play in the academic success of your child. Educational research shows that “parents are THE determining factor in the education of their children. They have greater direct influence than teachers. Added to this are friends, who in some cases are a great source of motivation.