2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
We inculcate notions of self-respect and respect for others during childhood, but how can we continue this education when our child grows up? The adolescent needs to hear about consent in order to develop. Here are some tips for tackling it.
You are the first model couple for your teen. It's easy to reproduce your patterns. For example, the children of affectionate couples will also be affectionate in their future relationships. So it will be the same for self-respect and respect for others. However, negative behaviors such as violence, insults, non-respect of consent or the lack of affirmation of one's limits are attitudes that also risk being reproduced. It's up to you to choose what you want to show as a model.
A concept to discuss
Sex education goes beyond pregnancy and STBBIs.
As a “good parent”, you probably want to have the discussion on the subject of sexuality. Yes, it is important to talk about the risks of pregnancy or disease. However, sexuality education for your child will not be complete if you do not take the trouble to talk about self-respect.and personal boundaries. Get your child thinking about what they want from sex.
Sex should be fun. If a little voice inside is crying out in discomfort, those are enough signs to quit. Your child HAS THE RIGHT to say no. Hearing it from you will confirm that it can do it. And a person who loves him has a duty to respect him.
On the other side, your child has a duty to respect the resistance of the other. This must be named: no one should be forced to have sex, whether they are in a relationship or not. Sex is not a proof of love, it is the extension of love. It's quite different!
Watch your speech
Your children listen to your discussions. These can have repercussions. Pay attention to the words you use in front of your children. “I find that she sought to be assaulted”. "Yes, but she had seduced her before, it's normal that he jumped on her". Here are two examples of dangerous phrases. They legitimize acts of aggression that your teenager could one day pose on others.
The myths heard from you will be incorporated as fact. Remember: you are their references! They believe you! Also, this risks increasing the feeling of guilt in a teenager who has experienced an assault and reducing the chances of denunciation. Your teen will feel like it's their fault and they've been looking for it.
Your way of talking about men and women is also atconsider so as not to perpetuate prejudices that legitimize aggression or give the right to lack respect.
Use the news to discuss
The media (films, documentaries, radio shows, etc.) are great ways to discuss consent with your teenager. “What do you think of this teenager who took photos of a young girl intoxicated by alcohol? “, “You, what would you do to protect a girl who does not have the ability to say no? ". You see? Not only will you hear their opinion, but you are telling them that you condemn these actions. And you send the message that in such a situation, he has the power to help.
In closing, I know that no one wants to believe that their child could one day be an aggressor… Except that aggressors all have parents! It is important to talk about prevention and consent to prevent your child from becoming a victim, but don't forget to talk to him about his responsibilities to prevent him from becoming this aggressor.