2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
We had planned to go on a family trip. Four days before departure, our doctor finds a son's ear infection. He is now forbidden to fly. I have a thought: What if we go as lovers? Without him?
Of course, this idea crosses my mind for a split second and afterwards, the maternal guilt begins to swell and take up all the space. Impossible! Absolutely impossible for me to think of leaving 22 month old son for a whole week!
What mother would dare to do that?
The wisdom of children
My sister-in-law's response? A mother who wishes to offer the best version of herself to her baby after her return! And wham! Striking and moving lyrics. This line resonates in me and I feel the call of balance. Despite this, maternal guilt is in charge of coming back in force to lull my mind of its prejudices against parental responsibilities.
Sharing my ideas out loud with the in-laws, son must be feeling my torment as he rises from his 22 month old height and walks over to me. “Bye bye mom”, he says, punctuating his idea with his littlemain.
Sometimes children are wiser than us…
If he is able to come off so easily, am I able to follow his lead? That's what I did. Why? After all, if we don't move for reasons of fear, then we stagnate, right?
The he alth of the couple and the family
My husband had a little less scruples. Newly papa, he is now ready for a romantic trip. To our great luck, babysitting can be arranged with the family. It goes without saying that it is an immense we alth for a couple and a family, to be able to depend on their loved ones in times of need.
Taking vacation was the right decision. Son was certainly not traumatized. On the contrary, he was able to take advantage of the exclusivity of his grandparents and this trip greatly contributed to the happiness of the whole family for several months. Relaxed, harmonious parents and individuals who know and respect each other are among the keys to a united family.
Take a break
Parental burnout is a reality we are talking about more and more. Well present, it is detected when the parent experiences psychological and physical fatigue, parental distancing and a loss of efficiency and fulfillment. There's even an app to help parents predict and avoid it.
It must be said that our society seems to have come “at the end of its rope” with the image of the perfect parent, advocated from all sides and the constant solicitations to participate inthe life of the daycare or the school of our darling children…
Arranging for couple time is difficult? Why not take the opportunity to take it solo? What if we dared to give ourselves time to find ourselves, offer ourselves and thank each other. Of “me-time”. Many dream of it… but few dare.
And yet, we all have this little voice telling us that it would be good to stop, to take a short break, two or three days. We usually let this parental guilt swell and take over until we reason our choice: I don't spend enough time with the children; baby is too small; we don't have enough money…
This is what I wish for us/you…
- Learn to give yourself the attention you want to receive
- Turn canceled soccer into a surprise cinema
- Making flu break a parent-child introduction to Passe-Partout and chicken noodle soup
- Always transform flight bans due to infantile otitis into a romantic trip