2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
Empathy is one of those things that makes our world a better place. For your children to demonstrate it, all you have to do is teach them, one small step at a time.
The place of empathy
Times are tough for empathy. With the hasty judgments on social media and in the newspapers and the polarization of debates, we often forget that the people in front of us are affected by our actions and our words. In order for children to learn the importance of empathy despite this contrary context, they need us, because they do not feel the emotions of others and have difficulty imagining that they exist..
Unlike our physique and many other traits, empathy is not born at birth, it is learned (and the sooner the better). The following strategies help teach children to think about how others are feeling and to be more empathetic.
Lead by example
Start empathizing too, leaving less room for authority and anger. We often show empathy as parents, but we don't always say it out loud. We tend to want to correct faulty behaviorto intervene quickly. However, by talking to your children about how you think others are feeling, they will think more often about putting themselves in other people's shoes. For example, instead of saying that he “must wash his hands because”, tell him that it is to “avoid getting sick and spreading the little germs that make you sick to others. »
The tone and the words
Choose carefully the words you use to talk to your children about their feelings and ask them often how they are feeling. What was the most exciting thing about La Ronde? What was the most interesting in school? Did it hurt you when so-and-so took a toy from you? What does your best friend find funniest? The ability to express one's own emotions is one step closer to recognizing those emotions in others as well.
Highlights
When something important happens such as a birth, death, separation or illness, you can talk with your child about what it means for the person who lives it, but also the people who live with it. surround. It will help your child to show empathy since he will understand a whole range of reactions and emotions experienced by others.
Also, even if it is not recommended to talk about it extensively in front of very young children, the world crises, disasters and horrors that make the news are still at the center of your lives. These sad events are alsoopportunities to pass on empathy to your children by showing empathy for those affected yourself, even if they are far from home.
Dilemmas
Tell them about the dilemmas you face so they quickly understand that not everything is black or white. For example, you can tell them that you don't know if your friend will take it badly if you invite someone she doesn't like to the party you threw. By seeing that there are complex situations, your child will know that others too sometimes feel conflicting emotions. Before long, your child will also have to make choices: they might as well teach them to be considerate of others!
Talking about differences and difficulties
When kids notice visible differences with other people, whether it's due to physical disability, neurological disorder, clothing or something else, you will also be able to open a conversation to teach them empathy. You can briefly explain to them the sources of these differences and remind them that emotions are the same for everyone. You can also encourage them to listen to these friends rather than assuming they understand them based on what they see. They will discover new perspectives that you could not teach them.
Finally, you can take the time to talk about the overall situations of society and zoom in on individual emotions. In this way you will show them that the groups of peopledifferent are made up of individuals who each experience their own emotions.
Several good films can also open children up to difference without lecturing them. Paddington, for example, and Ernest and Celestine are among them.
Know your emotions and control them
When you notice your child feeling something, put words to that emotion to help them identify it. When he cries, you can ask him what makes him sad. When he hops, you can ask him why he's happy like that. Take the time to talk about the emotions of the characters he knows too. You can also teach him to control his emotions, especially anger, so that he can keep his thoughts clear in all circumstances. It's easier to empathize when you're calm.
Encouraging generosity and kindness
Recognize the successes of your child and others by thanking and praising them as often as possible. Also tell them the effect their generosity and kindness have on you: it made you smile, it made you happy, it made you feel good.
Teaching politeness
Politeness often gives good results in others and a "thank you ma'am" well received by the neighbor will give her a good example of what our good behavior can mean positive effect in others.
Babies and Pets
Babies and theanimals help teach empathy because they don't talk. So it's easy to imagine how they feel with a child and play what they would say to us if they were able to talk.
