2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
Yes, mom's life is tiring. So much so that we sometimes wonder if we might not be on the verge of burnout. But does parental burnout really exist?
Yes, parental burnout exists. He is also starting to make more and more people talk about him, especially since the release of the book Parental burn-out: avoiding it and getting out of it, published last year last with Éditions Odile Jacob, in France. Closer to home, Quebecer Manon R. Guérin also took an interest in this little-known evil by publishing the book Are you flirting with parental burn-out?
However, researchers have not recently taken an interest in parental burnout. Indeed, the idea of a form of burn-out specifically affecting parents emerged in the 1980s. However, for several years, this notion of parental burnout was only associated with parents of sick children. However, we now know that all parents, mothers and fathers, with sick or he althy children, can suffer from parental burn-out.
Professional burnout vs parental burnout
It is exposure to chronic stress that causes exhaustionprofessional. Eager to climb the ladder and perform, we want to meet all the demands and requirements, but sometimes a gap opens up, an imbalance that brings us down. It's the same with parental exhaustion.
“As in the professional sphere, parental burnout takes the form of a three-faceted syndrome: physical and emotional exhaustion, emotional distancing from children, and loss of efficiency. and parental fulfilment”, can we read on pages 36 and 37 of the book Parental burn-out: avoiding it and coping with it.
Basically, parental burnout is an imbalance between our demands and aspirations as perfect mothers and reality, which is often difficult to control. Indeed, how to successfully cook a he althy meal made from local and organic food, without added sugar or processed food, and this after an 8-hour day of work, 2 hours of driving in traffic (or 2 metro glued, glued) and a management of bath-duty-brushing-of-teeth-history-sleep, without blowing a tick – and this 5 days a week – without having the feeling of having reached the end of the line?
Phases of parental burnout
Burn-out is preceded by a burn-in, that is to say a very intense period in which you put crazy energies to reach a fixed ideal. “Burn-in is the phase of hyperpresence, hyperinvestment, ambitions and high demands. And it is precisely because the person aims high while neglecting torefill its fuel that it ends up falling. (page 59) Thus, we would go from the ideal parent (burn-in) to the loss of efficiency and fulfillment (burn-out).
A way out
To get out of a situation, the first thing to do is to recognize that there is a problem. When you feel that the load on your shoulders is getting heavier day by day, ask for help and lower your demands. Let the super nutritious organic dinner be made and serve peanut butter toast for dinner, guilt-free. Trade social media, which holds the promise of perfect lives, for coloring pencils and quality time spent with the kids. Stop comparing yourself, focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses.
And, above all, consult these two books, which are full of information and practical tips. They will be very useful to you, we promise!
- Parental burnout. Avoid it and get out of it. Moira Mikolajczak and Isabelle Roskam. Editions Odile Jacob, 2017.
- Are you flirting with parental burnout? Manon R. Guerin. Fides Editions, 2017.