We often hear older people say that family values are being lost. Are they right? Spotlight on our family values, a legacy to honor.
Combinations of family values are specific to each family, but several elements are common to all families, sometimes even across the world. The family values that allow a child to be part of this microsociety that is his family will then allow him to live better in society and, all in all, to be happier. What are these values, how can we pass them on to our children and what should we avoid? Here is an overview of these values that we often convey without even thinking about it.
Basic Values
Self-RespectOscar Wilde said "To love yourself is to make sure you are loved all your life". However, for a child to love himself, he must first learn to respect himself and this begins by giving himself the ability to say no. As a parent, this is a very delicate detail since we try to teach our children to listen to instructions, but we must also learn to accept their refusal of certain things, especially for everything related to relationships. socials, choice of friends, kisses and marksof love. Self-respect also means giving enough credit to our own opinion to be able to share it without constantly fearing being rebuffed.
Respect for othersEven if sometimes our parents, their grandparents, annoy us a bit with their old fashioned comments, their lack of tact and their way of interfering in our decision-making, it is important to respect them in the presence of the children. They are a reflection of who we will be in a few years when our own children have our grandchildren and by remembering our birth as if it were yesterday, we will want to help them. It is also important to teach children to respect their parents and siblings so that they come to respect everyone around them. Above all, avoid speaking ill of others in front of them.
Politeness and etiquette
Say please and thank you, take off your hat (or cap) when entering, hold the door, standing up straight at the table and not talking while eating are only the rudiments of this politeness that will make our child someone with whom it is good to live. In order to refresh your notions of decorum and etiquette, do not hesitate to consult the website and the books of Louise Masson, a specialist in the matter.
ResponsibilitiesYour child's academic and professional future depends on his ability to perform tasks, but also on his understanding of the usefulness of actions taken in acommon objective. Getting him used to putting away his toys and putting his plate on the counter when he's finished, for example, will help him learn to make himself useful and to accept spending a little energy simply to help others. These responsibilities will give meaning to one's tasks and form a more responsible citizen.
Honesty and trust
Trust is hard to gain, but easy to lose. By teaching your child not to lie and to never act hypocritically or dishonestly, you'll help him develop he althy relationships, focus on learning, and save him the stress of being caught red-handed. The concept of honesty and trust can be explained to your child by teaching them empathy, by asking them how they would feel if they were someone else. He will thus be much more inclined to think about the scope of his actions.
Contradicting messages
Of course, children do what they are taught. If you ask your child to stop shouting, but everyone in the house is shouting, your message will not get through. The same goes for politeness. Many parents try somehow to instill notions of politeness in their child, but forget to set an example. How many parents, for example, order 'pick up your toys', 'give me the remote', 'come here', 'close the door' and wonder why their child never says please or thank you.
Politeness and family valuesstart with example. We can teach our children beautiful values, but if we do it by shouting or doing the opposite in their presence, they will be confused and end up doing what we do, not what we say. By taking the time to discuss with the children and to give a good example, the message will get across better and it will be easier to understand each other and choose the right words to be understood.
It should not be forgotten that the ultimate objective of family values is to form a responsible adult who can lead a respectable and happy life with as few pitfalls as possible.
