2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 03:30
There are your children, my children, your expenses and mine… How do we split the bills when we are a blended family?
When deciding to form a new family with someone who had no children or had children with someone else, many questions arise. Among these, the question of finances is one that is both complex and emotional. How do you split the expenses with someone you just got married with and kids that aren't yours?
People, couples, solutions…
Obviously there are all kinds of people who form all kinds of couples and have different ideas about money. It is quite obvious that people who are very focused on the values of mutual aid and solidarity will not have the same financial reflexes in a blended family as those who need security and know that they will have enough money for their old days.
Other factors also come into play, such as paying or receiving child support or the relationship you want children to have with material goods, for example. Parents who prefer to live simply will not manage the finances of thesame way as others who spend lavishly so that the children lack nothing.
When we talk about blended families, we also suspect that other parents will be directly or indirectly involved in the children's lives and expenses. This involvement varies according to the relationship they have with the children and with their ex. When an ex gives a lot to the children, it is quite obvious that the new spouse will tend to give as much, if not more, to his own children to balance things out. But in cases where former partners give only the minimum, there are three options left for reuniting parents.
Solution 1: Pay for your own children and share the rest
This is the least binding solution. When you only pay for your own children, it's a bit like being a single parent and someone helping you pay for the biggest expenses, like housing and groceries. Financially, it's a bit like having a roommate. We pay for extracurricular activities, clothes, school supplies, activities and everything else for our own child and our spouse pays the same for theirs. We only consult each other for major expenses and common bills.
This solution is good for those who have been through tough breakups and are afraid to go through another one. It gives a certain control and a certain stability to what we offer our children, since we decide everything.
Solution 2: Pay everything half and half
For those who prefer not to talk too much about money and settle everything quickly, splitting all expenses in half seems fair. After all, the whole family spends time together and if one child costs a little more for a while, it doesn't mean the other won't end up wanting to play the piano or take a school trip. Everything balances out in the long run.
By paying for everything together, those who are afraid of being criticized one day for not having contributed enough are relieved. This is objectively the fairest way to demonstrate that this family is yours and that you are ready to share everything. On the other hand, in the long term, this management of finances can weigh more heavily on the person who earns the least, especially if the gap is very important between the two salaries.
Solution 3: Pay according to income
For those who really feel like they are in a new family unit that is here to stay, this is the fairest way to manage expenses. Whoever earns the most takes more of the expenses, regardless of the biological origin of the children. With this sharing of expenses, everyone pays what they can, thinking more about the happiness of the family than the financial aspects.
This solution is probably best for very solid couples who are not worried about “doing too much” for each other and who do not see money as a priority.
Obviously, this is all just food for thoughtfor new stepfamilies, but through changes in custody, new challenges as in-laws, and the relationship of children, this reflection may help you ease the transition and get to know each other's position early on. departure. Besides, it is not said that your perception will not change over the years, when your income changes, as the children grow up and as your relationship evolves.
If you are not married to your new spouse, it is strongly recommended that you sign a cohabitation contractto protect the assets of both partners and to mark out the aspects important aspects of your new life together, especially finances. When things are going well, we don't think about those things, but nobody knows the future and you may be relieved one day to have a contract that clarifies things, than nothing at all!
