On this World Perinatal Bereavement Awareness Day, we suggest 10 gestures that have a great impact on parents who are experiencing the death of a child.
Respect the bereavement
Know that no two people react exactly the same to death and respect the healing pace and jagged emotions of the grieving parent. For some, the pain will last a few weeks, for others it will take much longer to recover. It is up to us to be patient and offer them understanding and support.
Give a call
The simple fact of hearing your voice and knowing that you are available if they need you will really make parents happy and allow them to break their isolation for a few minutes. If you don't, they may be embarrassed to ask for help. Do not hesitate. Call!
Leave a basket on their balcony
If you are afraid to impose yourself or the parent has expressed a desire to be alone to cry and think, you can leave a few jars of spaghetti sauce or a batch of muffins or cookies on their balcony. Offering meals and other treats that require no effort on their part is a greatgift that will clearly demonstrate your sympathy.
Offer shopping
If for example, you are already at the grocery store or a big box store, why not send a text message to ask the parents if they need anything while you are there? It's very little effort for you, but a great help for them.
Name the baby by name
When you talk about the baby, call him by his name. By naming the child, you are acknowledging the existence of that child they lost,and the parents will understand that you respect both their attachment and the extent of the grief that is theirs.
Send a card to baby's birthday and death
This is another way to show that you care about the events that have affected the life of this family. If you think parents will appreciate it, send them a card on the anniversary of their child's death and birth.
Offer to babysit
Caring for your other children can be very difficult when you're going through a lot of pain and recovering from childbirth at the same time. Babysitting once in a while will do these bereaved parents a lot of good.
Offer help around the house
Helping with housework and laundry, mowing the lawn, walking the dog, and all those demanding tasks are other great ways to help parents overwhelmed by sad events.
Invite them to supper, to have acafe
To break her routine and give her a break from her pain, invite your friend to visit you for dinner or coffee. If the dad is available, invite him too!
Offer them to talk…and cry
You can offer parents to tell you everything, even if it's long, even if it's sad, even if they might cry. You don't have many friends you can talk to in difficult times like this, and this listening will certainly be welcome.
If you feel like your friend needs to talk to people who have been through the same thing as her, you can also refer her to Orphan Parents which organizes coffee talks with several parents who have experienced bereavement.
