Two years ago my youngest burned her right forearm at 2e and 3e degree in a silly kitchen accident. My biggest lesson learned through this mishap was taught to me by my spouse.
This event gave us all kinds of emotions and a whole life experience; five weeks without daycare, very frequent visits to the hospital, a skin graft for my 2-year-old daughter and having to learn how to nurse her at home.
When the accident happened, I was alone with my two daughters at home; my boyfriend was on his way back from a business trip to the United States. So I had allowed my daughter to help me in the kitchen and she was close, very close to the oven. In our couple, I am often the one who takes the most risks at this level, wanting to give my children as much freedom as possible. Shortly after the accident, my big fear was that my boyfriend would be very angry! I felt so bad and guilty and expected a couple fight…
I did not dwell on this emotion for long because it is not necessarily the type of my man and above all, I had a baby to take care of and toconsole. I had to get to the hospital quickly and all my priorities were related to her and her condition.
A proof of love
My man came back the same day. What was my surprise not once to hear the slightest reproach from her, or even a word about the reason that had pushed me to allow our daughter to help me in the kitchen. It was only a few days later that I explained the accident to him, in detail. Before that, we were all focused on giving love to our daughter.
Even after explaining the accident to him, not a word, not a reproach, nothing.
We talked about the accident again during a dinner with friends. It was during that dinner that he said, “I could have been angry, said something, but what difference would it have made? The accident happened and there is no point in going back to the past. His words touched me deeply and I felt so lucky to be with such a wise man. For me, this attitude towards the situation, without blaming myself, was a great proof of love.
A lesson
Do you know what? I don't know if I, in the opposite situation, would have had the same wisdom. Phew… It's done, I said it. I think the lioness in me would have a hard time saying anything to my boyfriend. I am too impulsive and in pain and anger, faced with such a situation, I would have looked for a culprit and provoked a fight. Yes, yes, I would have reacted like this and I know that I am not thereonly! Am I wrong?
Now that it's said, I feel good, human and real. And I can tell you this: my man has shown me, through his concrete gestures and his silence, the strength, wisdom and love he has within him. And I grew up.
I know that from now on, I will turn my tongue seven times before blaming anyone in a situation like this… at least I hope so!
Julie xx
