2023 Author: Anita Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-11-27 18:44
Do you often worry about your child's well-being? Moms have a strong sense of protection, but how do you tell the difference between protection and overprotection?
Being a mother hen
But what exactly does it mean to be a mother hen? If you call yourself a mother hen, you probably tend to see this side of yourself in a positive way, as Solène Bourque, psychoeducator, reveals to us. This designation is a cute way to admit that you have a positive protective side that inspires you to protect your child from life's big and small dangers. On the other hand, if others refer to you as a mother hen, they may be trying to tell you that they find you more overprotective than protective.
The dangers of overprotecting
Solène Bourque reminds us that if protecting a child is the primary role of a parent who provides essential and reassuring security to their child, overprotection can really have a negative impact on their autonomy. By wanting to avoid all injuries and all potential misfortunes, our child becomes in a way less well prepared for the outside world and he is less called upon to work on hisautonomy. We must keep in mind that sooner or later, whether at daycare, at school, at home or even in the labor market when they are adults, all children will have to face difficulties and if the parents have always been on the lookout for all the little dangers, children won't know how to react to them on their own.
How to dose?
Being a mother hen, when done in the right dosage and without excess, can also mean ensuring quality emotional and physical security for your child. Solène Bourque suggests evaluating where the line is drawn between protection and overprotection according to your criteria, since these are specific to each family. The important thing is that everyone is happy and free to explore learning about life independently and with the support of their family.
Why does one become a mother hen?
Being overprotective can be seen pejoratively, but all it really means is that we want to avoid harm or pain to our child who we perceive to be more fragile. Maybe you've always been a bit more worried by nature, or maybe a particular event or situation like being diagnosed with an illness, a learning disability, or even an accident that happened when you were on your own. even child caused these overprotective behaviors. But what can you do to reassure these inner fears and change your reactions to your child?
Let go
If you feel like you're the only oneBeing able to meet your child's constant needs can be rewarding in the short term, but it risks becoming very burdensome in the longer term. Ms. Bourque advises learning to let go slowly. You can start by giving yourself small daily challenges like letting your spouse or another adult take care of your child. Take the time to observe him when he also plays: you will be able to become aware of his strengths and abilities. Remember that a child who is trusted will be more likely to develop their autonomy easily. Tell him that you know he is capable as often as possible: you will make him very proud, and you will be just as proud!
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