More and more women are choosing to stay home with their toddlers instead of going back to work. We explore the life of a mom at home to help you make a choice!
More than 25% of Quebec mothers who have a child under the age of six choose to stay home to take care of their family full-time. In addition, according to a CROP-La Presse survey, 70% of working women would also like to make this choice. This practice, once a necessity for families, is now a personal decision for women. But what does it mean today to be a mom at home?
Why choose to be a stay-at-home mom
The reasons vary from woman to woman, but often revolve around a desire to be present with children during the first years of life. Women who choose to stay at home see an array of benefits that tip the scales:
- Be at the forefront of important learning and assist their children at all times.
- An increase in their quality of life for some, since they found work-family balance difficult or stressful to manage.
- Have time to grow from a personal point of view, give themselves time to do the projects they dreamed of or undertake a career change based on their new passions.
Becoming a stay-at-home mom therefore means making a choice based on your personal and family values. This choice requires a lot of organization, both logistically and financially, but when made in an informed way, it can be very suitable for today's families. That's why it's important, before taking the plunge, to consider all aspects and assess their impacts to be well prepared for this new adventure!
You must of course consider the financial aspect since if you stop working, you will have less salary to take care of all the expenses of the family. Of course, all work-related expenses will disappear, but it's still important to make a realistic and above all detailed budget to see if your lifestyle needs to be changed so as not to find yourself in a bad financial situation.
It will become essential to have an open and honest discussion with your spouse about managing expenses when he will be the only one contributing monetarily. It is important that your spouse realizes that you are making a long-term investment in your family and should not become completely dependent on them.because of this family choice. Here are some important points to make during this discussion:
- Does he really agree with this decision and does he plan to support you in this new reality?
- How are you going to share the income so that you don't end up in an unpleasant or downright unstable monetary situation?
- Do you have to justify every family or personal expense?
- If you are not working, you will not be able to contribute to the Régie des rentes du Québec. Is your spouse willing to contribute to your RRSP in exchange?
- Do you live in a common-law relationship? Make sure you have all your legal documents up to date to avoid being destitute if one day you separate.
Perception of surroundings
Once you have settled the financial aspect, you will have to look at the perception of those around you regarding your decision to stay at home. Many mothers say they feel judged by those around them, whether by the spouse, friends or family, and then feel obliged to justify their choice.
Indeed, the choice to stay at home is still perceived as marginal and can be perceived as a lack of ambition, laziness or downright as an anti-feminist and degrading choice. While this
misperception shouldn't affect your choice, you should be prepared to stand up for your values on occasion. Talk about it openly with those around you and point out that yourdecision is considered and that it meets your common values. This way, you will get their support from the start instead of judgments created by misunderstanding.
Many moms who plan to quit their job for several years are afraid of being bored. But being a mom at home does not mean doing nothing, on the contrary! There are a host of options for stretching your body and mind with children, such as mother-child classes, educational family outings, groups of mothers at home, collective meals, story time, the park and more. Take the time to check out what activities are offered in your neighborhood or in your city and set yourself goals to force yourself to maintain a social network that will probably be different from your life before, but so enriching!
Put your career on hold
Another concern for women who want to become stay-at-home moms is putting their careers on hold and not being sure of finding their place or even finding a jobwhen they are ready to return to work. It is indeed insecure to have a gap of a few years in your professional career, but depending on your field of employment, you may be able to take refresher courses or make a gradual return that will allow you to refresh your knowledge.
Being a mom at home is above all a unique experience that will enrich yourpersonality and your skills in many areas!
And you, do you plan to become a stay-at-home mom? We want to read you in the comments!